Rolling Star
by Nutmeg615
Summary: Shuuhei is offered a spot as a guitarist in Rolling Star, an up and coming band. The lead singer, Kana, offers him the job and a place to live. He's not interested in her romantically... what's the worse that could happen living together? ShuuheiXOC; AU (Real World not Soul Society); Rated M for Sexual content.
1. New Beginnings

Working late all those nights had paid off. Shuuhei was able to buy a huge ring. One he knew Rangiku would like. She hadn't been happy that he had been working so late all the time. Shuuhei hadn't liked it either. Between his job and her, he rarely had time to play his guitar. When he did manage to find time, Rangiku interrupted him. The new editor position was quieting down, and he thought he could find the time for both his music and her.

He walked into the apartment he shared with her. There were some things he needed to prepare before she got home, and he had taken off early. She would be surprised, and he couldn't imagine her saying no. In fact, he could hear her saying yes.

Shuuhei walked back to the bedroom. The screams he heard were getting louder. The scene he saw when he got to their bedroom was not what he was expecting. A naked Rangiku lay on their bed, her strawberry blond hair falling over the side. There was a redheaded man with tribal tattoos that lay on top of her, and it was obvious to Shuuhei what they were doing. He cursed.

Rangiku leaned her head back and looked at him, her eyes wide. "Shuuhei!"

He said nothing as he walked out of the apartment.

...

Shuuhei sat with his friend, Kira, at a bar and told him what he had seen.

"That's low man," Kira said as he drank his beer.

"Yeah. So you can see why I need a place to stay."

"You can crash at my place for a while."

"Thanks."

"When are you going to go get your stuff?"

"Tomorrow. While she's at work."

"Need some help?"

"No. Thanks anyway."

...

Shuuhei packed quickly. He didn't want to be here when she came back. Right now, he'd be happy if he never saw her again.

However, that was not what Rangiku wanted. "Shuuhei, I'm sorry," she said quietly as she watched him pull his clothes out of their closet.

"So am I, Ran. Sorry I didn't see this sooner. Out of all the people, you pick my best friend?"

"You've been working a lot. I was lonely. Renji came over a few times for dinner and..."

"Working that much wasn't my idea, but things were left in disarray. I had to sort it all out. I'm still not done. I should be there now."

"Go to work, Shuuhei. We can talk tonight when you get home."

"I'm not coming here tonight. Or ever. I'll leave my key on the table when I'm done."

A tear fell down her cheek. "Shuuhei, I love you."

"Having sex with another man is a strange way to show it."

She walked over to him and put her hand on his cheek. One thing she loved about Shuuhei was how handsome he was. He didn't have tattoos like Renji. "It was just sex, Shuuhei. Nothing more, and nothing like what we have."

Shuuhei brushed her hand away. "We have nothing now."

"You aren't going to try and work this out?"

"Ran, there is nothing to work out. I'm not interested in spending my days wondering if you're with someone else or wondering if you lied to me."

"I never lied to you, Shuuhei."

"You just never mentioned that you and Renji..." It was a sentence he couldn't complete. Shuuhei picked up the box and carried it into the front room. There were several piled up along with his guitar. He ran a hand over the case. This would be his only love now. He didn't need a relationship to be happy.

...

Shuuhei spent several nights a week at a bar with or without Kira. It had been the night he was out alone that had been the worst. He had been drowning his sorrows in his beer when a woman came up and sat down next to him. She gave him a show, but Shuuhei wasn't interested. There were other men in the bar, and they were not pleased that he was ignoring her. Four of them decided to teach Shuuhei a lesson. Luckily, the bartender stepped in before things got too bad. Shuuhei was bleeding. The cuts on his face burned. Kensei, the bartender wouldn't let him leave. He took Shuuhei's phone and called Kira who came to pick up Shuuhei.

"Man, those are not going to be pretty," Kira said when he got Shuuhei home.

"That girl was ugly, and she was trying to get me to sleep with her."

"You are a warrior, Hisagi. You took on four guys at once."

Shuuhei grinned, dropped on to the couch and fell asleep. Kira looked at him. The cuts down his face would scar. He probably should have taken his friend to a hospital, but Shuuhei was in no condition to go anywhere. With a sigh, Kira tended to the wounds as best he could.

When Shuuhei woke the next day, he tried to remember why the whole right side of his face hurt. Getting up, he walked into the bathroom and stared at his reflection in the mirror. Three lines ran down his face. He tried to remember what he had done to provoke the men who fought him, but he could only remember Kensei breaking up the fight.

"Kira!" Shuuhei shouted as he walked into his friend's room.

"What's wrong?"

"I want to get a tattoo."

...

It had been a month since the bar fight. Shuuhei had gotten a 69 tattoo on his cheek like the one he had seen on Kensei. Kira had called him a warrior, and Shuuhei had also gotten a blue strip above the 69. He had wanted it to go all the way across his face but the tattoo artist couldn't tattoo over the wounds or the scars they would become. The blue line stopped just past the bridge of his nose.

"Hisagi-san, I'm tired of drinking inside. I wanna go out," Kira said.

"Go. I'm not stopping you." Shuuhei strummed the strings of his guitar.

"Come on, it's time to move on." Kira threw a shirt at Shuuhei. "It's a great time to live, and it's time to stand up and pick up a woman."

"I'm done with women."

Kira sighed. "I'll buy."

"Fine." Shuuhei put on the shirt Kira had thrown him over top his muscle shirt. "Let's go."

As he sat at the bar an hour later, he had a couple of phone numbers in his pocket. Not that he was intending to call them. Shuuhei wasn't a one-night stand kind of man, and he wasn't interested in starting a relationship. His phone rang, and Shuuhei grinned at the caller ID. It was a voice from the past that he hadn't heard in a long time.

There was no greeting. "Do you still play?" the frantic voice asked.

"What?"

"The guitar, Shuuhei. Do you still play?"

"Yeah. What's up, Yumi?"

"It's Iba. He got into another fight. There are talks of him getting fired. We can't be a band with only three people. We need a guitarist."

Shuuhei grinned. His friends Yumi and Ikkaku had moved to a different city to be in a band, and they had found band mates there. "I can fill in for a while if you need me to."

"As long as 'a while' to you means permanently, that's fine."

Shuuhei thought a moment. He had already resigned from the newspaper. The position didn't hold the same thrill it used to, and it had become more of a hassle to get his articles written. "When do you need me there?"

"Next week."

"Send me the address."

"Sure thing. See you soon, Shuuhei."

...

Yumi answered his phone. "You better not be calling to say you can't make it."

Shuuhei laughed. "Actually, I was calling to say I was here a couple of days early."

"That was fast, Shuuhei."

"Yeah. Do you want to get some dinner so you can fill me in on what's going on?"

"Sure." Yumi rattled off the name and location of a restaurant.

It didn't take either of them long to meet there.

"It's good to see you, Yumi."

"Same here, Shuuhei. You didn't bring Rangiku with you?"

"We aren't together anymore. Haven't been for a few months."

"What happened?"

"I came home one day to find her in bed with Renji. I'm an idiot for not seeing it sooner. I was actually going to propose to her."

"I'm sorry, Shuuhei."

He shrugged. "You would have been proud of the ring I bought her."

"Let me see."

"Yumi, I sold it. I'm thinking of getting a motorcycle with the money."

"Must have been some ring." Yumi looked at his friend. "Tell me about the tattoos."

Shuuhei told him what he remembered of the fight. When the waitress came by to fill his beer again, Shuuhei declined. "I don't drink more than two. It keeps me out of trouble," he explained when Yumi gave him a look.

They talked for a long time, catching up with each other. Yumi filled Shuuhei in on what was happening with the band. They had started writing songs, and they had local gigs occasionally.

"We're meeting tomorrow night. Kana likes to meet once a week even if there isn't a gig. You should come."

"What's the situation with Iba?"

"Iba's leaving at the end of the week."

"Everyone else is ok with me taking Iba's place?"

"Kana wants to hear you play, but I don't think you'll disappoint her."

"Let's hope not."

...

Shuuhei met Yumi for a tour of the building the band rehearsed in. They put his guitar and Yumi's bass in their rehearsal room and walked through the hallways.

Kana's first glimpse of the man Yumi wanted to hire as their guitarist was from behind. He was taller than Yumi and wore jeans and a t-shirt on his lean frame. They were headed back to the rehearsal room with Kana not far behind them. She couldn't hear what they were talking about, but she could tell that Yumi was doing all of the talking. They walked into the room, and Kana hesitated outside the door. She really hoped this guitarist would work out for them. Iba's departure was not helping her reach her goal of a successful career. Taking a breath, she walked in and greeted Yumi.

"Kana, this is my friend, Shuuhei. He's the one I was telling you about. He'll be perfect."

Shuuhei shook Kana's hand and had the vague feeling like he had met her before. Her hair was pink and her eyes were violet. He was sure he would remember someone that looked like her. She was beautiful. Not that he was interested.

"Pleased to meet you," she said.

"What's that smell?" someone called from the door. Shuuhei turned and looked at him. "Stinky Shoes!"

"You still don't have a better one than that, Baldy?"

Ikkaku's mouth dropped. "I am not bald!"

"Right." Shuuhei muttered. Kana cleared her throat, and Shuuhei looked at her then down at her hand which was still held by his. "Sorry," he said as he let go of her hand.

"So you know Ikkaku and Yumi."

"We went to school together."

"I see." Kana saw more than most people would when they looked at Shuuhei. His scars and tattoos made you think he was a punk, but she saw warmth in his dark grey eyes. He was kind, friendly and maybe even a little cute. Not that she was interested. "You didn't come with them when they moved out here?"

"No. I was pursuing another career."

"Shuuhei was the editor of our hometown newspaper," Yumi bragged.

"I wasn't the editor for very long."

"You gave it up to come here?" Kana asked.

"Yumi asked me to come, and I was ready for a change." He didn't consider it running. He had said everything he'd needed to say to Rangiku when he had packed up his belongings. Shuuhei needed a change. His passion wasn't with the paper anymore.

"Despite what these two say about your skills, I'd like to hear you play.

"Of course." Shuuhei took his guitar out of its case. Kana noticed the case was plain. Most guitarists she knew had stickers on the outside of their cases and photos inside but not this man.

He played through a couple of songs she knew, but Kana also wanted to hear him sing. Iba hadn't been able to sing well.

"Will you sing something, Shuuhei?"

"Uh." He swallowed the lump in his throat. "Sure. Anything in particular?"

"Anything you like."

As he began to sing, Kana smiled. He sang well and could probably make it on his own if he took some voice lessons. She was also smiling because of the song he had chosen to sing. It was a classic that most people their age didn't know. She found it interesting that he had chosen a song that wasn't about love.

"Showoff," Yumi muttered.

"Shoe off," Ikkaku said.

"I like the classics," Shuuhei said in defense.

"I liked it," Kana said.

Shuuhei looked up at her. "Thank you."

"Welcome to Rolling Star."

...

"How's your new guitarist working out, Kana?" Nanao asked.

"He's great. I think he is perfect for us."

"Kyoraku asked me not to accept any gigs until you thought he'd be ready. How much longer do you think that will be?"

Kana shrugged. "Not long. Another week, maybe two." She finished chatting with her manager and walked down to the rehearsal room where Shuuhei was learning from Yumi. He had to learn so much, but Shuuhei never complained.

Standing in the doorway, she listened while he played. The music sounded better coming from him than it had when Iba played.

As they finished, Shuuhei looked over at Yumi. "I need a place to live. I'm tired of living in a hotel and out of boxes. I haven't had a real home in months."

"Shuuhei, you're my friend, and I like you, but I don't have roommates."

"I need a roommate," Kana said from the door. The men turned and stared at her. "Aki is getting married in a couple of days. You'd have your own bedroom and bathroom. The kitchen and living room would be shared, and there's a gym in my building."

Shuuhei gaped at her for a moment. "You barely know me."

"I barely knew her, and we turned out to be good friends."

"Okay then."

"Yumi knows where I live. You can stop by after you're done here," Kana said.

Shuuhei nodded, and she left them alone. He looked at Yumi. "I've never lived with a woman I wasn't dating."

Yumi shrugged. "How bad could it be?"


	2. An Incomplete Jerk

Not thinking about anything other than the song in her head, Kana climbed onto his bed. "Shuuhei," she whispered. He turned toward her but didn't wake up. "Shuuhei," she repeated, leaning closer to him. Suddenly his hand was fisted in her hair and his lips were on hers. The kiss was primal and needy and Kana found herself answering his lips with her own. At some point, the kiss softened and his hand moved down to cup her neck. When he pulled away and opened his eyes, Shuuhei wondered if he could kiss her again. This time while he was awake.

"What time is it?" he asked; his voice thick with sleep and lust.

Kana looked at the clock and was shocked at the time. She had gotten out of bed just after 3am but it was now 3:15am. Their kiss had lasted longer than she realized. She told him the time. "I'm sorry I woke you. It seemed like you were having a good dream."

It had been a good dream but waking up kissing her had been better. "Why are you in my room?" Not that it was unusual for her to come into his room.

"I had a song in my head and I was wondering if you would play for me." She wondered why she suddenly felt foolish. They had been friends, band mates and roommates for almost a year.

"You want me to play at 3am?"

"You can do it later," Kana said as she started to get off the bed.

Sighing, Shuuhei gave in to her, knowing deep down he would have agreed to anything she suggested. "No. I'll do it. Close your eyes."

She started to ask why but then realized the reason. Her cheeks flushed and she closed her eyes.

Shuuhei got out of bed despite the desire to lean over and kiss her again. Tugging on his jeans, which were now a little tight in the crotch, he grabbed his guitar and sat back on the bed. "What would you like me to play?" he asked as he turned on the bedside light.

She opened her eyes and looked at him. He was shirtless but she'd seen him without his shirt before. "I'll sing. You play. It's something new." He nodded and waited for her to begin.

...

When they finished, it was near 8am and Kana stretched out on his bed. Her midriff poked out between her tank top and pajama bottoms. Shuuhei was thankful his guitar sat in his lap, hiding his erection. He tried to think of the most sexless thing he could imagine, but it wasn't helping. His mind kept returning to their kiss.

"Shuuhei," Kana repeated.

"What?" He shook his head. "I'm sorry."

"No. It's my fault. I woke you up early. Are you working today?"

"No."

"Great. I want to take you out to breakfast."

"You want to take me out?"

"Yes. As a thank you for writing this new song with me."

"It's what we do. You don't have to take me out for breakfast. You don't eat breakfast."

"No but you do." She sat up. "I'll be ready in ten minutes."

...

"You ordered a lot of food," she said as they piled several plates in front of him.

"Not all of it is for me. You're eating too." He pushed the bowl of fruit and the toast over to her. "You've eaten fruit and toast before. You'll eat it now. Since you've been up since 3, think of it as a snack and not breakfast."

She picked up her fork and sampled the fruit. "It's sweet."

"Try this," he said handing her his fork. Kana tasted the pancake on the end.

"It's really good. Warm and fluffy."

"Next time you take me out for breakfast, you can get some of your own."

"You aren't going to share them with me now?" she asked with a fake pout.

He laughed and shared his pancakes with her.

...

"Shuuhei, who were you dreaming about this morning? Was it your ex-girlfriend?"

"I don't give her too many of my thoughts and none of my dreams." He couldn't remember the last time he'd thought about Rangiku.

"So who was it?" Kana asked as she continued to put away the groceries they had gotten after breakfast.

"A woman I'm interested in." He wondered if he could tell her.

Her heart skipped and that worried her. "Does she know?"

"I don't think so." Shuuhei shrugged. "I don't know if she feels the same."

"Maybe you should let her know."

"Maybe," Shuuhei said as he thought about waking up kissing Kana. He didn't want to ruin their friendship or hurt Rolling Star by starting a relationship with her. Sometime over the last year, he'd found himself thinking about Kana in a new way. That hadn't been the first time he'd kissed her in his dreams, just the first time he'd kissed her while he was awake. "Do you want to watch a movie?" he asked.

"Sure. Whose pick is it?"

"It's yours."

"Are you going to stay awake during it?" she asked.

"Are you?" he countered.

Kana laughed while she walked over to their movie collection. "So something we've seen before just in case."

They both fell asleep during the movie, but it was Shuuhei who woke up first. Kana's head rested on his shoulder, and she was muttering in her sleep. As he listened, Shuuhei noticed it was just one word over and over. "No."

"Kana," he said softly.

She didn't wake, and Shuuhei thought he saw tears on her cheeks. He pulled her into his lap and held her until the dream passed.

Kana woke slowly. The dream had brought up memories she no longer wanted to remember but was now forced to. It saddened her, and she felt the tears fall. She had never told Shuuhei about her past. She had been a different person then. She wanted to tell him and had come close several times. Kana knew that she couldn't tell him. Not until after Rolling Star was successful. Her past couldn't get in the way of her future.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"It's okay." He pulled her back slowly and wiped the tears from her face. Kana's gaze lowered, and she stared at his lips, remembering the way they felt earlier that morning. He had been asleep, but it had still been a powerful kiss. She had been thinking about it during the day.

"Shuuhei." Giving in to her curiosity, Kana leaned forward and kissed him. She shifted so her legs were on either side of him. Her breasts pressed into his chest.

If it had been anyone else, Shuuhei was sure his hands would be all over her, but it was Kana. He'd waited so long for her that he knew he didn't want to rush this. He also wanted to make sure it was something she wanted. Pulling away from her was one of the hardest things he had done. "Kana."

"Oh right. There's someone you're interested in." She tried to move off him, but Shuuhei held her firmly to him.

"This morning I was dreaming about you," he said quietly.

"Shuuhei, I..." She wanted to tell him that she couldn't be in a relationship until after Rolling Star succeeded. She also wanted to kiss him again and tell him that she thought she might have more than friendly feelings for him.

...

He felt like an idiot. He had laid out his feelings only to get rejected by her. Shuuhei sighed as he took another drink of his beer. He wondered if he'd have to find a new apartment. His phone beeped signaling an incoming text message.

_'Shuuhei, please come home. I want to talk to you.'_

He didn't reply. Instead he paid for his one beer and walked out of the bar. Revving up his motorcycle, he rode the streets for a long time trying to clear his head and his heart.

He parked his motorcycle and walked through the park. This late at night, it was nearly empty. Shuuhei sat on a bench and let out a long sigh. While he'd been dreaming about her since Christmas, it had been Halloween when he'd first thought about Kana as something more than the lead vocalist for Rolling Star.

_He had been at work and had missed the beginning of the party. It was a costume party, and he didn't have a costume. That didn't bother Shuuhei. He'd only come because Kana had suggested it as something fun for the four of them._

_A giant peacock walked up to him. Shuuhei looked at him. "What are you wearing, Yumi?" _

_"It's gorgeous isn't it?"_

_Shuuhei rolled his eyes. "Mhmm."_

_"Where's your costume?"_

_"I don't have one. Where's Ikkaku?"_

_"Out dancing with someone. No clue who she is."_

_Shuuhei looked out and saw his friend dressed as some kind of warrior dancing with a woman with long black hair that nearly fell to the floor. He scanned the crowd. Most of the people were unfamiliar to him. There was a man in pink on the dance floor, and Shuuhei thought it might be Kyoraku. _

_The woman caught his attention. She wore short shorts had the longest legs he'd ever seen. Her top was strapless, leaving very little to the imagination. Shuuhei thought maybe it was time to date again. She looked over at him and smiled. He returned her smile and wished he could see her face. The mask she wore covered half her face. He knew the silver covering her hair couldn't be real. She got swallowed by the crowd as a familiar Halloween song came on and people began to dance. _

_With a sigh, Shuuhei began to make his way around the crowd. He caught glimpses of her for a while before he lost sight of her completely. Ikkaku stopped him and complained about his lack of costume. _

_"I worked all day. I didn't have time to stop and get a costume."_

_"I'm sure Kana would have helped you out."_

_"Have you seen her? It was her idea for all of us to be here together." _

_"I heard she was here, but I haven't seen her. Been too busy with my own woman." Ikkaku grinned at Shuuhei. "I'm going to see if I can talk her into coming back to my place with me." _

_"Good luck with that. If you see Kana, tell her I was here."_

_"Are you leaving?"_

_Shuuhei shrugged as he looked out over the crowd again. He didn't see the woman or Kana anywhere. "I don't know how long I'm going to stay." He thought if he could find the woman again, he could ask her out for drinks. _

_The woman Ikkaku had been dancing with came up and grabbed his hand. She led him back out to the dance floor, leaving Shuuhei alone. _

_Shuuhei wandered over to the bar and ordered a glass of water. As he took a drink, he saw the woman approach him. He was feeling smug that she had sought him out when he hadn't seen her talk to anyone else. _

_"Where's your costume, Shuuhei?"_

_All of his fantasies came to a halt. "This is my costume, Kana." He drew a line at thinking about her as anything more than a friend. Rolling Star was too important to him. _

_She smiled and picked up his glass. "What are you supposed to be?" she asked, taking a long drink._

_"I'm an aspiring musician."_

_She laughed. "I would have helped you find a costume."_

_"It's hard to hide tattoos and scars."_

_"Make-up would have done it," she suggested. _

_"Maybe next year."_

_"Maybe."_

_He watched her walk away and tried not to think about how sexy she looked. _

Shuuhei left the park and headed back home. When he arrived at the apartment it was just after midnight. The lights were out, and he assumed Kana was asleep. He walked into his room and found her asleep on his bed. Taking a blanket from the hall closet, he laid it over her and resisted the urge to kiss her cheek. Closing the door behind him, he went out to sleep on the couch.

...

Several ideas ran through his head. Shuuhei thought about leaving her a note or waiting until he was at work to call her. They all made him feel like a chicken. He had almost made up his mind when he got out of the shower and heard her crying. He pulled on his jeans quickly before he went to his room. She didn't hear him call her name, but when he pulled her into his arms, she held on to him.

"Don't leave me, Shuuhei," she said after a while.

"I won't," he replied although he really wanted to tell her he couldn't. He didn't have it in him to leave her.

"I was afraid you hadn't come home." She was afraid she had ruined things between them.

"I was getting ready for work."

"Your bed is made."

"Except for where you were sleeping. I slept on the couch."

"Why?"

"I don't trust myself sleeping next to you."

"I trust you, Shuuhei." She looked at him. "I promised myself I wouldn't be involved with anyone until I had succeeded in my career."

"Why?"

"Because I failed before."

"Because you were in a relationship?"

"No. It was nothing I did exactly. My former manager found someone else. A new star. I was replaced. He had changed my name and my appearance. I had to learn how to be Kana again."

"Who were you before?"

Kana shook her head. "It doesn't matter. Tell me something about your past."

"I caught my girlfriend in bed with my best friend."

"Wow."

"Yeah," he sighed. "I was going to propose to her. I've given her more thought in the past day than I have in the past year and a half."

"There's been no one for you since then?"

"Just music. I really wanted to be a love 'em and leave 'em guy after her but I couldn't do it."

"You have too much heart. You care about other people's feelings."

"I'm a sap."

"You aren't a sap, but you aren't a complete jerk."

"Does that mean I'm an incomplete jerk?"

She smiled. "You will be if you don't go answer your phone."

"I'm not expecting any calls. It can't be important." He really didn't want to move. He was comfortable with her in his lap and her arms around him.

"Then I'll go get it for you." Before he could stop her, Kana was out of his arms and picking up the phone from his bathroom. "It was your work."

Shuuhei groaned and lay back on the bed. He was on his last chance with them. He'd skipped out early to write songs a few times, and he'd been caught. Normally, he was reliable, but his heart wasn't in this job.

"Hello," Kana said. Shuuhei looked up at her, and she put her finger over her mouth. "I'm calling for Shuuhei. He won't be in today." She paused. "He's really sick. I think it was something he ate yesterday. He's been up all night, and I think he finally fell asleep a couple of hours ago." Another pause. "I'll tell him. Thanks."

"Kana, what did you do?"

"I saved your job. They said not to come in today. They don't want you to spread around whatever you have." She looked down at him, trying hard not to look at his abdominal muscles. She really wanted to run her hand over him just to see what he felt like. "We aren't done."

"We aren't?"

"Shuuhei, there are two things I want. First, I want a number one album. I want to prove to my previous manager that I can make it as Kana. That I'm just as good, if not better, than she was."

"That shouldn't be too hard."

Kana lay down next to him. "Second, I want to break my promise to myself. I want to be in a relationship with you." Shuuhei grinned. "And third, I want you to make me pancakes."

"Pancakes? I thought you only wanted two things."

She shrugged. "I want three things."

"Kana, I promise I won't take advantage of you. If you ever feel like I am or if things aren't working out for you, you can call it off."

"You'd do that?"

"Yeah. I'm an incomplete jerk like that." Shuuhei got up and walked toward the door grabbing a t-shirt along the way.

"Wait. Where are you going?"

"You said you wanted pancakes. I'm going to go make some." He thought lying in bed with her wasn't a wise idea. He looked back at her. "Were you thinking I was going to do something else?"

She thought he would have kissed her. "Do I have enough time to take a shower?"

"Make it a fast one."

...

Kana walked into the kitchen 30 minutes later. There was something she had thought about while she was in the shower.

"Shuuhei, if I ask you something will you answer me honestly?"

"Yes."

"Was that the first time you dreamed about me?"

"No." He knew she'd ask how long so he went ahead and told her, "I've been dreaming of you almost every week for the past five months. Since Christmas."

"I wasn't here for Christmas." She remembered her mother had lectured her for leaving her friend alone on a holiday.

Shuuhei nodded. "It was the first time you weren't here."

"I was supposed to be gone longer than I was," Kana admitted as they sat down at the table with their pancakes. "I came back early."

"Why?"

"I gave myself a lot of reasons. I only let myself admit once that I came back early because I missed you."

"Why do you want to break your promise to yourself now?"

"I was going to wait until after we recorded our first album, but you kissed me."

"That's what you get for climbing into my bed at 3am," Shuuhei grinned at her.

"Shuuhei, it's been a while since I've been in a serious relationship."

"Same here, but we have all day to learn more about each other. Since I'm sick, I shouldn't be leaving the house. You'll have to nurse me back to health."

Kana rolled her eyes at him. "I think you'll be fine without my help. Besides, I'm volunteering this afternoon."

"So you'll have to nurse me back to health before you leave."

She laughed and ate the rest of her pancakes.

"Are they as good as the ones you had yesterday?"

"Maybe better. Shuuhei, you make the best food."

"Pancakes are easy to make. I'll teach you next time."

Her cell phone rang, and Kana went to answer it. Shuuhei cleaned up their dishes. As he finished, Kana came back into the kitchen.

"We have a gig!"

Shuuhei grinned. "When?"

"Saturday night," Kana told him, dancing around the kitchen. "We have a gig! We have a gig!"

Shuuhei caught her as she danced pass him. Pressing her body close to his, he leaned in and kissed her. Kana wrapped her arms around his neck, tangling her fingers in his hair.

She couldn't think. There was more she wanted to say, but all she could do was feel. So she let herself forget everything except for him and how it felt to be this close to him.

When they broke apart some time later, it was Shuuhei who spoke first. "I want to tell Yumi and Ikkaku."

Kana's head felt cloudy, and she had to think a moment before she could reply. "You can call them while I'm gone. I'll leave you the venue and the rest of the details."

He laughed. "Kana, I want to tell them about us."

"Oh. Right."

"Would you rather not?"

"They should know." She kissed him lightly. "You didn't kiss me earlier when I told you what I wanted."

"You wouldn't have gotten your pancakes if I had." He grinned at her.

"I never said you had to make them right away."

"You would have missed Nanao's call."

"You think so?"

"I told you, I don't trust myself with you."

"I trust you, Shuuhei."

"I use a lot of control around you."

"I can't wait to see all that control snap," she whispered in his ear. Kana kissed his cheek. "I have to go get ready."

"You don't have to leave for a few more hours," Shuuhei pointed out.

"I know. Something tells me it will take me a while to get to my room."

"Go get ready. If you're dressed for work I have to behave myself."

...

He had behaved, giving her nothing more than his kiss until she had to leave. Kana was halfway through her shift when she texted him.

_'Maybe I should have called in sick. We could have had more time together.'_

_'You would have just made rehearsals start sooner.'_

_'Maybe but I really want to test your control.'_

_'You're playing with fire. Besides I can control myself for a little while longer.'_

_'Even if I was standing naked in front of you?'_

_'Is that something you want, Kana?'_

_'I think so. Yes.'_

_'You have to be sure. That's another reason I'm holding on to my control. And Kana, just because you're naked, doesn't mean I am.'_

She laughed. He had a point.

"Kana, who are you texting?" Aki asked as she walked up beside Kana.

"Shuuhei."

"I should have known. You're always texting him." Aki sighed. "He is sexy."

Kana laughed. "He is." She looked at her friend. "I spent most of the morning kissing Shuuhei."

"You what? I thought you said you weren't going to date until Rolling Star made it."

"I know, but I really like Shuuhei. I've been trying to deny it for a while. I don't want to wait anymore."

"You look really happy, Kana."

"I am really happy, Aki." Kana smiled.

...

"Yesterday when I woke up I was kissing Kana."

"Geez Shuuhei, how long have you been having this dream?" Yumi asked as he tuned up his bass.

"This time it wasn't a dream. She was in my bed, and we were kissing."

"Who was in your bed, Shoes?" Ikkaku asked as he walked in.

"Kana," Yumi supplied.

Ikkaku's eyes narrowed at Shuuhei. "You kissed our Kana?"

"Relax, Ikkaku. Shuuhei was asleep when he did it."

"The first time I was asleep. I was very much awake for every kiss after that."

"What?" Yumi asked, gaping at his friend.

"I'm attracted to her. She's attracted to me." Shuuhei shrugged. "We're going to see where it goes."

"Don't hurt her, Shuuhei."

"She has my permission to end our relationship when she wants."

"Being a gentleman I see. Ikkaku, take notes."

"Pfft," Ikkaku mumbled. "What was Kana doing in your bed?"

"Aside from making your dreams come true," Yumi smirked.

"She wanted me to play. We wrote a new song." Shuuhei handed out the music and lyrics to the song they had titled 3am.

Yumi read through them first. "I like it." He looked up and saw her in the door. "Kana, this is wonderful."

"Thanks. I want to close with it Saturday night." She pulled her hair out of bun she had worn to volunteer. Shuuhei could only watch as her hair fell all around her. He struggled with his control for a moment before she said, "Let's get started."

...

They barely made it through the front door without attacking each other. Kana's back was against the wall, and Shuuhei put his hands on either side of her. Her hands snuck under his shirt, and she ran them all over him.

"You really like testing my control, don't you?"

"Aki said you were sexy."

"Really? What did you say about that?"

"I agreed. You are sexy, Shuuhei. I've seen this many times," she said as she ran her hands over his chest. "Now I can feel how sexy you are." Kana kissed him. "Don't you want to feel me, Shuuhei?"

"More than anything."

"Then why don't you?"

"Because I have to work in the morning, and I'm not going to rush and grope you like some horny teenager." She giggled. Shuuhei pulled her closer to him. Kissing her, he gave into himself and trailed his hands down her backside, cupping her butt. He felt her smile.

"That wasn't so hard, was it?" she teased as she kissed him again. "Shuuhei, I want you to touch me."

"I will but..."

"But not tonight," Kana finished with a sigh as she leaned against the wall.

"That disappoints you, and I'm sorry. Kana, there are a lot of things I want right now. I want to quit my job, but I need another one lined up. I have to pay rent. I really want Rolling Star to make it. More than anything though I want you, and I want to do this all the right way. I don't want to just jump into bed with you. I want it to be something more than that." He kissed her softly. "That's why I hold on to my control around you. There is very little stopping me from taking you, Kana. I don't want to just take. I want to give."

"Shuuhei, I want you. It's been a long time since I've been with someone and even then, I wasn't me." She thought a moment. "I've never been in a relationship. It's always been her. I had to be her all the time."

"Another reason why we shouldn't rush." He kissed her forehead. "Maybe we should do this right and go out on a date."

Kana laughed. "What days are you working this week?"

"Tomorrow, Wednesday and Thursday. Regardless of the schedule, I'm taking off Friday and Saturday. They know that a gig takes priority."

"I'm volunteering Wednesday and Thursday. We have rehearsals every night this week."

"Because you're a slave driver."

She ignored his comment. "What about Sunday?"

"What about Friday?" Shuuhei asked.

"It's a date." She grinned at him. "Where are we going?"

"Wherever you want." He kissed her goodnight and having a better understanding on what they wanted from each other, they parted ways and went to bed.

...

Kana got up the following morning and walked in to the living room. Still struggling to fully wake up, she sat on the couch next to Shuuhei. He dropped the pad of paper he was holding on the table and laid his head on her shoulder.

"Good morning," he said quietly.

"Good morning. Have you been up long?"

"I didn't sleep well. I looked at my clock at 1am, 2am, 3am, and I finally decided to get up at 4am. I went downstairs and worked out then got ready for work."

"Why couldn't you sleep?"

Shuuhei shrugged even though he knew that he couldn't sleep because he kept wondering what it would be like to sleep next to her. Every time he closed his eyes, he had been tormented by thoughts of her. "Kana, I have a couple of hours before I have to leave for work. If I fall asleep, will you wake me up in time?"

"Are you going to go back to bed?"

Shuuhei shifted and rested his head in her lap. "I was thinking of staying right here. If that's okay with you."

"It's fine. Sleep, Shuuhei."

"You can watch some TV if you want. It won't bother me."

"Maybe I will," she said softly.

Shuuhei was going to say something else, but everything shut off and he slept peacefully. She stroked his hair and wondered for the millionth time how he had gotten his scars. They had never talked about it. She didn't know how to ask him about them. Gently, Kana ran her hand down his cheek.

Kana spent the first hour and a half of her morning watching Shuuhei sleep. It was relaxing. She never turned on the TV, content to just watch him and let her thoughts roam.

Shuuhei woke up feeling refreshed. He opened his eyes to find the TV was off. He also noticed that he was lying on Kana's bare legs, and he wondered how he had missed that earlier.

"You still have thirty minutes to sleep," she whispered.

He sat up and pulled her into his lap. "I'd rather spend those thirty minutes with you."


	3. Offers

Kana woke up Friday morning before the sun crested the horizon. She was excited to go on a date with Shuuhei even though they had never decided where to go. He had let go of some of his control and had begun to touch her more. Nothing sexual even though Kana wanted him. She had surprised herself when she tucked her fingers in to the waistband of his jeans last night.

Quietly she crawled into his bed. It was almost as if Shuuhei had been expecting her. He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close.

"What are you doing, Kana?"

"Starting our date early," she said quietly as she kissed him. "Do you mind?"

"No. I sleep better when I'm next to you."

"Maybe I'll have to sleep next to you every night."

"Maybe," Shuuhei said as he nuzzled her neck. Sleeping in her lap had been the best sleep he had gotten in the past week, and Shuuhei longed to sleep well at night.

As he laid there with her next to him, he wasn't thinking about sleep. His thumb rubbed her side and he tugged up the camisole she wore. His palm trailed over the side of her breast. Shuuhei kissed her as he took her breast in his hand. Her body arched against him, and he wondered why he had been denying himself.

"Shuuhei, I've never..." she trailed off, unsure of how to finish her sentence.

"Had sex?" he offered, moving his hand to her waist.

Kana laughed. "No. I've had sex. I've never gotten anything out of it."

"Never?" he asked.

"No. This has never been exciting for me." She looked up at him. "But it is now, with you."

"You know it's now become my personal mission to make sure you get something out of this. Giving you pleasure gives me pleasure, and I am in a very giving mood right now." He kissed her and could feel her hesitating. "Kana, what's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"You're a bad liar."

"I'm just nervous. I don't know what to do."

Shuuhei ran his hand through her hair. "Kana, we aren't going to have sex right now."

"You don't want to?"

"I want you to be sure." He kissed her, giving her tenderness. Shuuhei lay back so she was on top of him, her legs lying between his. He held her for a long time, content despite his earlier desires.

They were still in bed when the sun lightened the sky.

"What's next for our date, Kana?"

She smiled. "I guess we need to get up."

"I don't really want to, but I don't want to sleep through our date either." He touched her cheek. "When I'm with you, I feel a peace that I've never felt with anyone else."

"I can be myself with you. I don't have to be her."

"Kana, all I want is you. She doesn't exist for me."

"She doesn't exist for anyone."

"She exists for you," Shuuhei pointed out.

"I need to let her go. I'm not proud of some things I did as her."

"Let her go, Kana. She's part of your past, but she's not your future." He kissed her. "It's time to open up the memories of your past, and it's time to move on. It's time to open up the shadows of your heart, and it's time to move on. Cause it's a great time to live, and it's time to stand up and be counted."

"Are you giving me advice, Shuuhei?"

"It's something I wrote after everything that happened with my ex."

"I like it." She smiled at him. "I'll try to let her go. It's hard though."

"I'm here for you."

Support from someone close to her was something she never had before. Yet here he was offering it without knowing what had happened. She wondered if he had any idea how much that meant to her.

...

They walked hand and hand down the sidewalk. The strip mall had seemed like an interesting place to go. They parked Shuuhei's motorcycle on one side and meandered around, occasionally going inside a shop. One display made Kana stop, but Shuuhei didn't notice until she tugged his arm.

"Can we go inside so I can try it on? It'd be perfect for tomorrow night."

"Sure," Shuuhei replied as he opened the door for her. The shiny pale gold dress that hung in the window was taken down so Kana could try it on.

While Shuuhei waited for her, his phone rang.

"You're rehearsing tonight, correct?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good. I want to see you before you begin."

"Yes, sir."

Kana walked out of the dressing room. The strapless dress seemed to have been made for her. It fit her perfectly, flaring out at her hips to give the skirt movement. Shuuhei stared at her.

"Just you by yourself," the caller said.

"Yes, sir. I'll be there." He hung up the phone and tucked it back in to his pocket, his eyes never leaving Kana.

"Who was that?" Kana asked.

"You look amazing."

She giggled. "Thanks, Shuuhei. What shoes should I wear with it?"

"The black ones you normally wear on stage," he suggested knowing that those shoes also made her legs look a mile long.

"Maybe." Kana spun around before darting back into the dressing room. "Who were you talking to?" she asked when she reemerged.

"Kyoraku."

"What did he want?"

"He wants to see me before we rehearse tonight."

"Why?"

Shuuhei shrugged. "I didn't ask. He didn't say."

Kana paid for her dress. "Can you deliver it?" she asked the sales clerk.

"We can take it with us," Shuuhei said.

Kana shook her head. "Not on your motorcycle. It will wrinkle."

"Right. We can pick it up before rehearsals. We have to come back by this way."

"That works," Kana said.

They stopped for ice cream before deciding to go back home. As they got on Shuuhei's motorcycle, Kana wrapped her arms low around his waist. He had worn khakis instead of his normal attire of jeans, and he was fairly certain that Kana had positioned her hands over him on purpose. She inadvertently stroked him several times during their ride home. Shuuhei felt the control he was holding on to slip with every touch.

As he parked his motorcycle, Shuuhei helped her off. "Not many girls would like to ride on a motorcycle," he commented as they walked into the building.

She remembered being nervous the first time she had been on it, but once they had gotten out on the open road, she found herself enjoying it. "I like it. I like the feel of the wind." They stepped onto the elevator with several other people and stood in the back. Kana stood on her toes to whisper in his ear. "I like the feel of being pressed against you."

Shuuhei watched the floor numbers crawl up. If they were alone he was sure she'd be pressed against him. After what felt like an eternity, the elevator stopped on their floor, and Shuuhei pulled Kana toward their apartment. Once inside, he trapped her against his body and the door as he caught her mouth with his. His hands were under her shirt, desperately fighting with her bra. Once it was free, he pulled it off along with her shirt. Control was slipping from his grasp.

His hands cupped her breasts, and she moaned against him. Her whole body seemed to yearn for his touch. When his mouth came down on her breast, Kana's hand fisted in his hair. Wrapping one of her legs around him, his hand moved up her leg slowly until he got to her center. Shuuhei kissed her, wondering if it was possible to devour her. He ran his hand over her before giving in to his desire and pushing aside her panties. As his finger entered her, Kana moaned into their kiss. Her hips moved against him. She held onto his shoulders as he took her up. Her whole body seemed to erupt when she peaked. Her nails bit into his back through his shirt as she called his name. She went lax against him, and Shuuhei held her to keep her from falling.

"Shuuhei."

"Hmm?" he asked, a little appalled that he had taken her against the front door.

"That was amazing." Kana turned her head to kiss him. "I have one request though."

"What's that?"

"Can we try someplace different next time? My legs are weak."

"I don't think that has to do with location." He smirked. "Would you like me to make your legs weak again, Kana?"

"Now?" she asked, unsure if she could do it again.

Shuuhei carried her over to the couch and slipped off her panties. "Now," he said as he kissed her.

...

"You wanted to see me, sir," Shuuhei asked as he walked in to Kyoraku's office.

"Yes." Shunsui picked up a magazine from his desk. "Are you familiar with this?"

"Yes sir. It's the magazine your company publishes."

Shunsui smiled. "Yes. I am in need of a writer."

"A writer?"

"You used to write before you moved here."

"With all due respect sir, that was just a small town newspaper."

"No need to be modest. I want you to write for us." Shunsui studied the young man in front of him. "We'll pay you by the word, and each article will have a minimum number of words it needs to be. I'll need your first article to be complete in a couple of weeks. Here is the information on it." He handed Shuuhei a piece of paper.

"Thank you, sir." Knowing that declining the offer wasn't an option, Shuuhei tucked the paper into his pocket. He left the office and headed down to the rehearsal studios.

"What did he want?" Kana asked when she saw Shuuhei.

"He wants me to write for the company's magazine."

"Getting back into writing?" Yumi asked.

"I guess so."

"Are you guys going to stand around yakking about Shoes or are we going to rehearse?" Ikkaku asked as he sat behind his drums.

With a laugh, Kana began rehearsals hoping that Kyoraku's offer would let Shuuhei quit the job he currently had.

...

Shuuhei stood on the threshold to her room. He rarely went into her bedroom, usually opting to stand at the doorway where he was now. But tonight he couldn't sleep. He'd tried for over an hour, but sleep still eluded him. It wasn't the gig tomorrow night keeping him awake. It was her. Taking a breath, he stepped into her room and lay on the bed next to her. Kana's bed was smaller than his, but it was big enough for the two of them if he held her close. Putting his arm around her, Shuuhei soon fell asleep.

Kana woke Saturday morning feeling wonderful. Unlike Shuuhei she had no problems sleeping. As she laid there debating on going to Shuuhei's room, she felt his arm around her.

Gently she rolled over to face him. Smiling, she kissed his jaw. He didn't stir. Kana watched him for a while, going through details for tonight's gig in her mind. Her hand ran over Shuuhei's chest, and she hesitated slightly at the waistband of his boxers.

Shuuhei's hand came down on top of hers. "That's very tempting."

"Keep your eyes closed and let it be very real."

"Kana," he began.

"Shuuhei let me do this. Let me give to you. You gave to me yesterday afternoon and last night." Kana leaned up and kissed him. His hand moved away from hers, and he stroked her hair.

It wasn't that he had anything to be embarrassed about. He was more afraid it would be over too quickly. No woman in his past had done what Kana was offering. Her hand was timid as she slipped inside his boxers, but Kana gained confidence with every stroke.

It lasted longer than Shuuhei thought it would and as he peaked, he opened his eyes to look at her. That was when he knew he was lost without her.

...

Backstage Kana held Shuuhei's hand. Someone counted down the time, reminding them of how many minutes they had left.

"One minute!"

Shuuhei turned and kissed Kana. He leaned in to whisper in her ear. "Tonight when we get home, I want to make love to you, Kana."

"Ten seconds! Where's Shuuhei?"

He quickly took his place on the stage just before the lights went up. As Kana walked out to the sound of screaming fans, he thought her smile was just a little wider. She glanced at him and gave him a small nod.

"Good evening! We're Rolling Star." She greeted before starting their first song.

...

They always greeted their fans after the show, but tonight Shuuhei could have gone without it. Kana had talked to everyone who waited. As they sat in the backseat of the limo that had picked them up, Shuuhei leaned over to whisper to her.

"That took longer than normal. Was that on purpose?"

She smiled. "No. I am very much looking forward to going home tonight." She kissed him. No one had ever wanted to make love to her as Kana. They always wanted the singer she had been.

"We have an audience," Shuuhei reminded her.

"I don't care."

"You don't care if the driver starts the rumor that you and I are dating."

"Not at all. We are dating." She kissed him again. It was heated, and they lost track of time.

"I want you, Kana," he whispered as his hand trailed up her skirt. "What kind of rumors do you think he would start if he looked back here and saw you laying on the seat and me on top of you?"

"I don't know, but we're home so I don't think we have to worry about that."

Shuuhei looked outside and saw that the limo was stopped in front of their building. Opening the door, he got out of the limo and helped Kana out. He kept her hand in his as they walked to their apartment.

Once inside, Kana took off her shoes. While Shuuhei toed off his, she took off his shirt and tossed it on the floor. He bent his head down to kiss her collarbone and up her neck. His hands ran up the back of her legs and under her dress. He cupped her butt, feeling the satin of her panties. Kana was glad she had changed her underwear before they left. Lifting her up, Kana wrapped her legs around him as Shuuhei carried her to his room.

He set her down on his bed and couldn't help the grin that spread across his face. "Did I tell you how great you look tonight?"

"You told me yesterday when I tried on my dress."

"It looks like it was made just for you, Kana." He leaned down to kiss her. "And I'm thinking I should take you out somewhere nice so you can wear it again."

"I'd like that."

Shuuhei helped her stand, and she turned around so he could unzip the dress. It slid slowly to the floor, and Shuuhei admired her lingerie. Wrapping his arms around her from behind, he whispered in her ear. "You look sexy, Kana."

Turning in his arms, she faced him. "So do you, Shuuhei. How is it you make a t-shirt and jeans sexy?" She ran her hands up his bare chest while she kissed him. His hands roamed her body.

Shuuhei removed her strapless bra while Kana unbuttoned his jeans. His hands ran slowly down her and Shuuhei removed her panties. Kana sat on the bed so he could take them off her completely. After taking off his pants and boxers, Shuuhei leaned over to kiss her. Kana wrapped her arms around his neck, bringing him onto the bed. She wanted to feel his body against hers.

Shuuhei took her up slowly with just his kiss and his touch. He didn't want to rush this for either of them. Kana arched beneath him as the first orgasm went through her. He took her up again, and as she was about ready to crest over the edge, Shuuhei slid in to her. She moaned his name. Using slow strokes, he brought her up again. He held himself back as she tightened around him. Shuuhei kissed her again as his pace quickened. This time when she crested over the edge, he let himself go with her, whispering her name.

They lay sprawled out on the bed, a sheen of sweat covering their bodies. After a few minutes, Kana shifted off the bed.

"Where are you going?"

"To the bathroom," she said quietly, somewhat embarrassed.

"You're coming back here, right?"

She smiled. "I'll come back so you can sleep well."

"That's not why I want you to come back," Shuuhei said with a smirk.

"It's not?"

"When I wake up in the middle of the night wanting you, if you're here, I don't have to go far to find you."


	4. anKa and Him

Shuuhei woke feeling extremely relaxed and happy. Last night had been amazing and he wasn't thinking about the gig but about what had happened after. He hadn't woken up in the middle of the night wanting her. He had wanted her again by the time she had returned from the bathroom. She had changed into her pajamas, but it hadn't taken him long to get her out of them.

Reaching out for Kana, he found he was the only one in his bed. There was a note lying on her pillow.

'I went to get pancakes. I'll be back soon. -K'

Shuuhei smiled at it and grabbed his phone. _'I would have gone with you if you had woke me up.'_

_'I wanted to surprise you. I'm leaving now so I should be back in a few minutes.'_

_'Hurry back.'_

Shuuhei looked at the note again. Something in his brain clicked as he stared at the 'K'. He scrambled out of bed, put on his jeans and went searching in his closet for a box. He knew exactly what he was looking for.

"Found it!" he said a few minutes later, holding onto the small paper. He examined the name. There was no mistaking it. Shuuhei tucked it in to his back pocket along with the photograph that went with it.

"Shuuhei, I'm home," Kana called as she walked in to the apartment. With the bag of pancakes in her hand, she walked into his room. "We can't have breakfast in bed if you aren't in bed," she said as she walked up to him and kissed him. "We can't have sex if you aren't in bed."

"Kana, we can have sex anywhere." He backed her up against the wall. "I could take you right here." His breath was hot in her ear, and Shuuhei toyed with the thought of taking her right there. "But our breakfast will get cold, and cold pancakes are not good pancakes." He took the bag from her and headed to the kitchen.

Shuuhei waited until after they finished eating before he mentioned his discovery. "Do you remember the first time we met?"

"Yumi introduced us."

"I kept thinking I felt we had met before, but I could never place it."

"It would be hard to forget someone who looked like you."

"I haven't always had my scars and my tattoos."

"I always wanted to ask you about your scars, but I wasn't sure how."

He laughed. "You just say 'Shuuhei, how did you get your scars,' and I reply with it's not a pretty story but..."

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

He shook his head. "I don't mind. I was heartbroken and angry, and I went to a bar to get drunk like I did for many nights." He sighed. "I can't give you a lot of details because I don't remember them. There were four of them and one of me. One of them broke a beer bottle and was waving it around. Another one shoved me from behind. Let's just say that while I am pretty tough, I'm no match against broken glass. I fought them, and I can't remember why but I'll never forget them." He let out a breath. "Kensei, the bartender, broke up the fight. He asked me if I was ok, handed me a towel and told me not to get blood on his floor. One of the guys came up behind him, grabbed Kensei's shirt and tried to take him down. Kensei barely moved, but I saw his tattoo."

"You got one just like his to honor him?"

"Yeah." He looked at her. "How did we get to talking about me? I wanted to talk about you." Kana laughed and Shuuhei looked at her. "I like this look better."

"What look? Do I look funny?"

"No. I like your natural hair color. Pink suits you more than blue." Shuuhei laid her note on the table. "You have a unique way of making your K." He reached into his pocket and pulled out the signed ticket stub. "So did anKa. This morning, it just clicked for me."

Kana looked at the two pieces of paper. "What are you saying?"

"Kana, the first time we met was nearly 6 years ago." Shuuhei laid the picture on the table. A young tattoo-less, scar-less Shuuhei stood next to a girl who had short pale blue hair and purple eyes. She wore a dark blue dress that came halfway down her thighs. The top of the dress clung to her like second skin.

Kana looked at it for a long time, looking at herself, remembering that girl. "I hated that dress," she finally said. Shuuhei laughed and reached for the picture. "Wait. You're him?" Kana gasped.

"Yes." Shuuhei wasn't sure if it was a good thing or bad thing that he was 'him.'

"The best part of that night was when this guy, this cute guy, said I was pretty and he liked my singing."

"I was nervous. You were famous."

"That was anKa's last concert. I did some really stupid things after that. Drinking all night, making out with guys I didn't know. I might have been able to make it without my manager, but I was hurt and I became an alcoholic." She paused. "My name is Kana, and I am an alcoholic. It has been 5 years, 2 months and... 11 days since my last drink."

"I didn't want to believe that you went to rehab. That wasn't you."

"I did a lot of things that weren't me, but now that's who I am." She shrugged.

"anKa disappeared."

"If I was going to make it as myself, she had to. She was a fraud. Not me."

"Have you thought about remaking one of her hits?"

Kana thought a moment. "I don't think I want to. I want to put her behind me. She has no place in Rolling Star."

"I think I can understand that."

She nodded. "I want you to sing a song on the album."

"Me? I'm just a backup singer."

"Shuuhei, you're a good singer." She stood up and walked over to him. "Think about it. Please." She kissed him.

"Do you know how hard it is for me to say no to you?"

She grinned. "Are you saying you'll do anything I ask?"

"Probably."

"Good. Don't tell Yumi and Ikkaku about anKa. She had her 15 minutes of fame. I want mine."

"I wasn't planning on telling them. It's your story to tell, not mine." Shuuhei stood and scooped her up. "There is something I want from you."

She giggled. "What?"

"When I woke up this morning, I wanted to make love to you, but you weren't in bed." He dumped her on his bed.

"You still want me after knowing who I was."

"Was it supposed to make a difference?" He kissed her. "Everything that's happened in your past has made you who you are today. I want who you are today. Finding out who you were was just a minor detail. It was like knowing when your birthday is." He pulled the t-shirt over her head. "Kana, she may have been pretty to me but you, you're beautiful."


	5. Stand Up

Shuuhei stood in the doorway for a moment watching her. She sat on her bed, staring at an envelope. "Kana," he called softly. She jumped but looked at him.

"I...um," she took a breath. Surely Shuuhei would understand. "I've carried this with me for almost 5 years. I never knew who to give it to."

Shuuhei walked over and sat on the bed next to her. "What is it?"

"A letter. Part of the healing process is to write letters to those you have wronged." She looked down at the envelope in her hand. "I never thought anyone would read this, but I know now that it was meant for you." She'd known for the past week that it was meant for him. She hadn't been able to find it until that morning.

"For me?"

"I never forgot what you said to anKa... to me." She smiled at him. "It helped get me thought the roughest part."

"Kana," he began.

"You don't have to read the letter, and it is okay if you do. I just wanted you to have it." This was one of the last steps she had to take to close the door to anKa. Giving him the letter and succeeding. She looked up at the clock. "Oh no. I have to go. I'm going to be late." Kana stood up and kissed him quickly and ran out the door.

Shuuhei felt helpless. He hadn't known what to say to her. He looked down at the envelope. Written in the upper corner were the words 'His Letter'. He opened it and pulled out the letter. A photo fell out, and he saw it was the same one he had. Laying the photo aside, he began to read.

_You don't know me, but I have wronged you and I'm sorry. My name is Kana, but you knew me as anKa. I have no idea if they ever told me your name. My hair isn't blue, it's pink, and I hate wearing it short. Would you still think of me as pretty if you saw me again? _

_Making amends with you will be the hardest thing for me to do, but I hope that writing this letter helps with the process I'm going through. I have no idea if I will ever see you again or if I will know you if I do. To me, anKa has died, and she will never again use me. No one will ever use me. My manager used me and then tossed me aside. I was left young, alone and dejected. I made bad choices. It didn't take me long to find that alcohol had a wonderful way of making me feel better. I spent a long time with a drink in my hand. When I was at a party, people would make jokes about how much alcohol I would drink. At first, I laughed with them. I thought they were my friends. I didn't realize they were making fun of me. _

_It was my hair stylist who opened my eyes. I didn't want to believe her. And it took me a while to see that she was right. When I saw that I had become an alcoholic, I cried. This isn't what I wanted for my life. I called her, and she helped me get the help I needed. I finally understood why my own mother had turned away from me. She hadn't like the alcoholic I'd become. We randomly picked a rehabilitation center in the phone book. I had no idea exactly what I was getting myself into, but I knew it was something I needed. _

_I thought I had written all the letters I needed to write until I went through the photographs from my last concert. I didn't want to go through them. They brought back memories I didn't want to remember. I'm including our photo with this letter. I know you were probably told you would receive a copy, but I have no idea if you did. I want you to have a copy because while that box was filled with a lot of negative, there was a positive. I remembered what you told me. I remember that you said I was pretty and that you liked my singing. Even now that makes me smile. _

_For you, I am going to remake myself. For you I'm going to go after my dream. For you I am going to become a famous singer. I have been writing a lot since I've been here, and while none of it is anything I'd sing, I am going to see if other musicians can use the lyrics. _

_It's a long, long road to carry on, and I've got to be strong. I will because I know that somewhere out there you believe in me. _

_I wonder if we will ever meet again. _

_Kana_

Shuuhei read through the letter a second time. With Kana in his head, he left the apartment and began walking with no destination in mind. He just wanted to think about what she had written to him and the day they had met for the first time.

_He had been last in line to meet anKa. As he had waited, he wondered what to say to her. Most of the people ahead of him were bigger fans than he was. It wasn't that he didn't like anKa's music; he just wasn't an obsessed fan. He heard several of them tell her they loved her. She had smiled at them and thanked them for coming to her show. He pulled the ticket stub out of his pocket for her to sign. He hadn't brought anything else with him. His nerves increased as he approached her._

_"Thank you for coming to the show. Did you enjoy it?" anKa asked as she signed his ticket stub. _

_"Yes. I like your singing." His immediate reaction was shock. Had he actually just said that? It sounded stupid to him. _

_She smiled as she handed the stub back to him. "I'm glad." It was her smile that caught him. It was different than the ones she had given her more adoring fans. He could see it reflected in her violet eyes._

_"You're pretty."_

_Her smile widened. "Would you like a picture?"_

_Shuuhei nodded. He was afraid if he opened his mouth, he'd say something stupid again. _

_They had shuffled him off after the picture had been taken, and he never had the chance to tell the blue haired girl his name. _

Shuuhei sighed. To him, he hadn't been very eloquent that night, but what he had said to her had given her hope and something to smile about. He had unknowingly comforted her through one of the most trying times in her life.

It was the bar fight that had changed his thoughts on drinking. Not being able to remember what had happened was something he didn't want to go through again. He never wanted to wonder about something he had done. He had never gone back to the bar to talk to Kensei, and he had never asked Kira about it either. He had just accepted his fate and went on with his life.

"Cause it's a great time to live, and it's time to stand up and be counted," he muttered aloud, his thoughts returning to Kana's letter. "It's a long, long road to carry on, and I've got to be strong." Shuuhei stopped and repeated the two phrases. Inspiration hit him. "It's a long, long road to carry on. I've got to stand up and be counted on." He turned and ran back to the apartment, back to Kana's letter and back to his guitar.

...

Kana sighed as she parked her car. Shuuhei hadn't texted her since she had left. It worried her. She was afraid he had read the letter and was upset by it. Slowly, she made her way up to the apartment.

"Shuuhei, I'm home," she called out.

"In here," he replied. She walked into his bedroom and saw him sitting on his bed with his guitar in his lap. There were several pieces of paper scattered around him.

"What...?"

"Listen," he said as he began to play. Then he began to sing.

"It's time to open up the memories of your past and it's time to move on.  
It's time to open up the shadows of your heart and it's time to move on.

Cause it's a great time to live and it's time to stand up and be counted.  
And it's a great time to live and it's time to stand up and be counted on.

It's time to open up and shed a little light on your soul.  
Cause the box you put your heartache in got lost or swept out to sea.  
And it's time just to move on.

Cause it's a great time to live and it's time to stand up and be counted.  
And it's a great time to live and it's time to stand up and be counted on.

It's a long, long road to carry on I've got to stand up and be counted on.  
It's a long, long road and I've got to be strong.

It's a long, long road to carry on I've got to stand up and be counted on.  
It's a long, long road and I've got to be strong.

And it's a great time to live and it's time to stand up and be counted.  
And it's a great time to live and it's time to stand up and be counted on.

Cause it's a long, long road to carry on I've got to stand up and be counted on.  
It's a long, long road and I've got to be strong.

It's a long, long road to carry on I've got to stand up and be counted on.  
It's a long, long road and I've got to be strong.

It's a long, long road and I've got to be strong.  
It's a long, long road and I've got to be strong."

He finished and looked up at her. "It just came together for me." Kana wiped her eyes, and that was when Shuuhei noticed the tears in them. "Kana." He reached out for her hand.

"It's beautiful, Shuuhei. One of the best things you've written." He smiled at her.

"You helped. The line 'It's a long, long road, and I've got to be strong' was in your letter. That's what inspired me to write it."

She smiled, pleased that her letter hadn't upset him. "What are you calling it?"

He thought a moment. "Stand Up." Shuuhei stared at her for a minute. "If I'm going to sing a song on the album, I want it to be this one." He saw the song as a gift for her. Shuuhei began to play through it again. He stopped singing but continued playing just before it was done. "Kana, go change into something nice so I can take you out to dinner." With a smile, she leaned over and kissed him. As she walked out of the room, Kana heard him finish the song.

Author's Note: Stand Up was written and performed by the Feelers. youtube dot com slash watch?v=efVfykZF6xE


	6. Mother

It was her phone that woke them early on a Sunday morning. They'd had a concert the night before followed by a late night dessert date at an all-night diner.

"Don't answer it," Shuuhei mumbled as he pulled her close, brushing his lips over her shoulder.

Kana already had the phone in her hand. "I have to answer it. It's my mother."

He sighed. Shuuhei wasn't sure about her mother's opinion of him. The first time he'd met Emi, he'd been shirtless. He had been getting ready for work, and he thought the banging on the door was Kana. In his rush to answer the door, he hadn't put on his shirt. Kana had arrived back at the apartment a few awkward moments later.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me," Emi said when Kana answered her phone.

"Tell you what, Mom?"

"That you were dating Shuuhei. It's all over the tabloids." Emi was staring at a picture of her daughter in a passionate embrace with the man.

"Oh. Well I..."

"How long have you been keeping this from me?"

"We've only been dating a couple of weeks. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner."

'A month,' Shuuhei mouthed at her.

"Are you sleeping together?"

"Mother!"

"I'm almost at your apartment."

"What? Now?" Kana asked, shocked.

"Kana, are you still in bed?" Emi scoffed at the thought.

"We had a concert last night. We didn't get in until late." They hadn't gone straight to sleep when they got in either.

"That is no excuse. I'll be there in a few minutes." Emi disconnected the call.

Kana jumped up out of bed and ran to her room to get dressed. Shuuhei put on workout pants and a muscle shirt before following her to her room.

"Do you want me to stay?" he asked.

"I should probably talk to her alone. She's not happy with me." Kana sighed.

"I'm happy with you," Shuuhei said as he kissed her. "You don't have to do this alone."

"I know, but I need to."

"I'll be downstairs in the gym if you need me." He kissed her again and left the apartment just before Emi arrived.

Kana opened the door and invited Emi inside.

Emi looked around the apartment. "You could be living with me," she reminded Kana.

"I like living on my own."

"Kana, you're living with a man. A man you're now dating." She studied her daughter. "I thought Rolling Star was more important to you."

"Rolling Star is important to me. It's important to Shuuhei too."

"What happens when this thing fizzles?"

Kana shrugged. "I don't know. I would hope we could remain friends."

Emi shook her head and wondered how her daughter could be so naive. "You can't remain friends with a lover. Is Shuuhei still friends with his past girlfriends?"

Kana thought a moment. "We haven't really talked about his past girlfriends." Although she knew he wasn't still friends with his last girlfriend.

"Have you told him about her?"

"I didn't have to. Shuuhei met anKa. He realized it on his own not that long ago."

"If he can, others can...and will. Of course, he could tell the press himself."

Kana shook her head. "Shuuhei told me that it's my story to tell. Why would he tell anyone? If anything happens to me it affects Rolling Star."

"Money is a strong motivator."

"Shuuhei doesn't need money. He makes good money writing, and Rolling Star is about to take off." Kana grinned. "We wrote the best song. It's going to be our first single off the album."

"You're recording? You didn't mention that to me."

"Not yet but soon. Kyoraku wants us to tweak a few more songs before we start recording." Kana looked at her mother. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about my relationship with Shuuhei. I wasn't intentionally keeping it from you. We're still getting used to it. Things have changed but they're still the same."

"Kana, Rolling Star comes first. You've worked too hard."

"It does, Mother. It really does."

Emi looked at her watch. "I have a few minutes before I have to leave. Tell me, are you sleeping together?"

"Mother!" Kana exclaimed, ready to deny having a sexual relationship with Shuuhei. The flush on her cheeks, however, gave her away.

...

Kana gave herself a few minutes after her mother left before she went down to the gym. She found Shuuhei running on the treadmill. He wore headphones and listened to music on his mp3 player.

She walked over to his machine and pulled on the headphone cord lightly. "Are you running away from my mother?" Kana teased.

"I'm not going anywhere," Shuuhei grinned as he turned off the music. "Is she still here?"

"She just left. She had an appointment."

Shuuhei turned off the treadmill. "That's a shame."

"I think I prefer it that way," she replied with a grin.

Taking her hand, Shuuhei walked with her back up to their apartment.

"Shuuhei, my mother's biggest concern is that you'll distract me from Rolling Star's success."

"I doubt that. I want Rolling Star to make it just as much as you do."

"I know. I told her that." Kana looked at him. "What happens when this fizzles?"

"When what fizzles?"

"This. Us. Will we be friends still? Are you still friends with your ex-girlfriends?"

Shuuhei ran a hand through his hair. He didn't want to think of the possibility of losing Kana. "Except for Rangiku, yes."

"Will you ever be friends with her again?"

"I don't know, Kana. She didn't just break my heart; she shattered my trust in her." Wrapping his arms around her, Shuuhei held her. He needed her more than he realized.

"I don't want this to fizzle," Kana admitted quietly.

"I don't either." He kissed her and picked her up. Shuuhei sat on the edge of his bed with her wrapped around him and kissed her. After a while, he laid back on the bed with her on top of him.

As the morning light streamed into his window, he made love to Kana knowing that he was in love with her and unable to stop himself from sinking further.


	7. Three Stars

Kana listened while they recorded the music to 3am. She wouldn't be able to record the vocals until that afternoon. She was volunteering, and she felt it was something she couldn't back out of. Keeping an eye on time, she listened as Shuuhei and Yumi played. Ikkaku would be coming in later to record the drum tracks.

Shuuhei looked out at her through the glass. He smiled at her as he played through the music. For the moment, he only saw her. There was no one else around. It was like he was playing just for her.

'I have to go,' she mouthed to him.

He nodded, never missing a beat in the song. He could play 3am in his sleep. It was their song or at least that's how he saw it. Shuuhei watched her leave, wishing he could kiss her goodbye and maybe even finally tell her what he was feeling. How was it that a man who had given up on love found himself so deeply in love?

They played for another couple of hours, finishing a few more songs. Shuuhei checked his phone and saw a message from Kana.

_'It sounded really good when I left.'_

He smiled and replied back. _'It'll sound better when you record the vocals. Yumi and I are stopping for the day. We're going to grab lunch before he has to leave.'_

_'I'll be there in a couple of hours. I can't wait to record.'_

_'I can't wait to listen.'_

Yumi and Shuuhei walked to a nearby restaurant and ordered lunch.

"How long has it been Shuuhei?" Yumi asked, eyeing his friend.

"Since what?"

"Since you fell in love with Kana."

Shuuhei shrugged. It had been a couple of weeks since her mother had stopped by. While he had realized it that day, he didn't know for sure when it had happened. "It's different than it was with Rangiku."

"Different how?"

"I don't think I really loved Ran. Lust. Yeah. But not love. I think it was just the idea that I had what everyone else wanted." Shuuhei paused. "Proposing to her was just the next logical step. It wasn't what I really wanted." He looked at Yumi. "I started resenting her. When I just wanted to sit down with my guitar and be alone, she'd interrupt me. In the last 6 months we were together, I think I picked up my guitar twice."

"And Kana just sits back and listens whenever you want to play?"

"Kana understands." Shuuhei grinned. "When I first moved in with Kana, I spent a lot of time practicing. She never complained. Never asked me to stop and pay attention to her. Never told me I played too much. Most of the time, she sat and listened. Sometimes she sang." They had talked a lot while he played, and their friendship had grown over Rolling Star's music. "Living with Kana has never been awkward."

"You were hesitant about living with her," Yumi remembered.

"I was hesitant about living with a woman I didn't know."

"You know her pretty well now."

Shuuhei thought of Kana's past and nodded. "Yumi, she's different than any woman I've ever dated." He loved her more than anything, but he wasn't going to admit that to Yumi when he hadn't told her yet.

...

Kana sat in the recording booth listening to the music play in her headphones. When she had recorded as anKa, she had listened to the music and ran through the lyrics in her mind before she recorded them. Today though, her mind kept drifting to Shuuhei. She remembered the lyrics to this song waking her up and taking her to his bedroom where he had kissed her. She never told Shuuhei she considered 3am their song.

When she had offered him a place to live, she hadn't honestly expected him to stay long. He had looked for a different apartment some when he first moved in, but he had soon given up. Living together had never been awkward for either of them.

Kana remembered their first gig about a month after he had moved in.

_"Shuuhei, where are you going?" Kana asked as she caught up to him after the show._

_"Home," he replied, as he reached for the door._

_"There's a car waiting out front to take us home."_

_"I know. I want to walk. It's not that far." He was too excited to sit in a car, but he didn't know how to explain that to her._

_"Give me a minute, I'll walk with you."_

_"No. Take the car."_

_"Not unless you are." Kana paused. "I'll be right back." She disappeared but wasn't gone for long. "I told the driver to go ahead and leave. I didn't want him to wait all night for us." Smiling at Shuuhei, she opened the door and stepped out into the night air._

_"Kana, you didn't have to walk with me. Can you walk in those shoes?"_

_"I wanted to do it, and yes I can. I always perform in these shoes. They are surprisingly comfortable." She looked up at him. "If my feet get tired you can carry me."_

_He laughed. "You and my guitar?" _

_"You use the gym in our building. I'll bet you could carry me and your guitar easily." She had seen him come in from the gym. His arms were well toned, and she had wondered if his muscle definition went further than his biceps._

_Shuuhei shook his head at her. "It's a nice night."_

_"Yes it is." She watched him a minute. "How was it?"_

_A huge grin broke out over his face. "Amazing. I should thank you for letting me into Rolling Star."_

_She shrugged. "You came highly recommended. You're a wonderful guitarist, Shuuhei, and a perfect fit for Rolling Star."_

He had been perfect for them; perfect for her. Opening her eyes, Kana looked out and saw him watching her. "I love you."

Shuuhei grinned and walked over to the sound board. Putting on the headphones, he turned on the microphone. "Can you repeat that?"

She giggled. "I love you, Shuuhei."

"I love you, Kana," he paused. "I have something for..." He glanced toward the door to the hall. "Unfortunately, I think it's going to have to wait." He pulled off the headphones as Kyoraku and a few others entered the room.

"Kana, are you ready?" Kyoraku asked as he put on the headphones Shuuhei had just taken off.

"Yes." She watched him signal the sound board operators. "Actually, can I talk to Shuuhei for a minute?"

Kyoraku looked back at Shuuhei. "Keep it short."

Shuuhei walked over to the door that separated her from them. Kana opened it and pulled him inside. She kissed him, sighing contently.

"I've wanted to do that all day," Kana said as she held onto him.

"So have I." Shuuhei kissed her forehead.

"I really wanted to kiss you after you told me you loved me."

"I love you, Kana." He kissed her softly. "I have something for you. Something I wanted to give you before you started recording." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small velvet bag. Inside the bag was a necklace. In the center of the thin chain were three stars. The middle star, which was a little bigger than the other two, was solid silver while the stars on either side were outlines in silver.

"Shuuhei, it's beautiful."

He clasped it around her neck. "When I saw it, it reminded me of you."

"Thank you." Kana ran her fingers over it.

"Kana, your time is up," Kyoraku said over the microphone.

Kana smiled at Shuuhei. "I guess I should get to work."

"I guess you should. I love you."

"I love you." She kissed him. "Go and listen. I'll sing you a song."

Shuuhei kissed her again before he stepped out of the recording booth.

She sang to him and for him. To the man she loved and the boy she made a promise to. She hadn't been thinking about love, but when she had seen him, love filled her. With love in her heart, she recorded their song.


	8. Signings

He supposed it was part of the life of being a rock star; fans fawning over them and confessing their love. Not that Shuuhei really minded. Signings were starting to take longer since the news of their album's release. More people were coming out to see them and to see what Rolling Star was about. Some of the faces were familiar to him. They had loyal fans in the city. Some of them never missed a concert.

Shuuhei glanced over at Kana and caught her eye. She smiled at him, and he smiled back. He knew her fans were telling her they loved her, and he knew without a doubt that he was the only man in the room that truly loved her.

"Shuuhei!" He looked over at the girl who approached him. "That was awesome. Every time it's awesome. I love you all so much."

"Thanks," Shuuhei muttered. He remembered her. She was always more enthusiastic to talk to him.

She smirked at him. "Will you sign something for me?"

"Of course."

"Will you sign my bra?" she asked, putting her hand on his arm.

"I...um...I can't." He glanced over at Kana again, somewhat relieved that she was talking to a fan.

The girl pouted. "Why not?"

"It's against policy."

"It's not posted."

"It's against my personal policy."

"Oh. I'm sorry." She handed him the t-shirt she was holding, and he signed it. "Thank you, Shuuhei. You're my favorite."

...

"It seems you have a very enthusiastic fan, Shuuhei," Kana said as they walked into their apartment.

"I do?" He hadn't been thinking about the fans.

Kana walked over to him. "You know the one." She pressed herself against him. "Shuuhei, will you sign my bra?"

His face fell, and he took a step back from her. "You heard that?"

Kana smiled at him. "So you're signing undergarments now?"

"No. I'm not. I told her I wouldn't."

"Come on, Shuuhei. Sign my bra," Kana teased.

She was goading him, and he knew it. Taking the marker out of his pocket, Shuuhei nudged down the top of her dress and signed her bra. "There."

Kana gasped at him. "You weren't supposed to actually do it," she laughed.

"I'd only do it for you, Kana," he said as he brushed his lips over hers.

"You owe me a bra," she said with a laugh.

"Do I get to pick it out?" he whispered in her ear.

"No."

"Do I get to watch you try it on?" he asked as his lips trailed down her neck.

She laughed. "No."

"Do I get anything out of this?"

"You get to see it and maybe if you're lucky take it off me."

"I should practice that," he said as he kissed her. Unzipping her dress, he let it fall to the floor and practiced taking off her bra.

...

There was a wrapped box on the table when she got home from a long and tiring afternoon of volunteering.

"What's this?" Kana asked.

Shuuhei grinned. "It's a gift for you."

She sat down on the couch next to him and opened it. "You didn't have to buy me a gift."

"Yes I did. You said I did last week."

"I did?" Kana pulled the item out of the box. "This wasn't what I meant when I said you owed me a bra. I can't wear this."

"Why not? I bought the matching panties."

"It's thin."

"It's lace," Shuuhei corrected. "You should make sure I got the right size. Go try it on," he suggested, even though he had checked her size before he had bought it. She hesitated but got up and went to try it on.

"It fits," Kana said quietly as she walked back out to him. She felt very uncomfortable walking around without a shirt on. Shuuhei looked over at her and everything stopped. The midnight blue lace was sexier on her than he thought it would be. "It's really pretty, Shuuhei, but I can't wear it on stage."

Shuuhei grabbed her hand and pulled her down into his lap. "You can't return it. I took the tags off and lost the receipt, and I don't know where I bought it."

She smiled. "I wasn't going to return it. I do need to go get a new bra to replace the one you signed. I can't perform in this. It would be a shame to ruin it."

"I didn't buy it to replace the one I signed." Shuuhei pulled a gift bag out from under the table. "I bought this one to replace the one I signed." He put the bag on the table and ran his fingertips over the lace. "This one I bought purely for my enjoyment."

"I should thank you for going to a store and buying me lingerie."

"Buying you lingerie isn't a hardship for me." He could have bought more, but he limited himself. "But I didn't buy it in a store. I almost did, but one of our fans works at your favorite lingerie store. I didn't want to spread rumors around about your lingerie."

"A lot of our fans know we're dating."

"They don't need to know I bought you this." Shuuhei ran his finger down the strap.

"Don't get any ideas."

"I've already had plenty of ideas. I'm trying to decide which one I want to act on." He stared at her for a moment and wondered if she had any idea how sexy she looked wearing his necklace, a lace bra and her skirt.

"What are you looking at?" She had been feeling self-conscious for most of the day, and his staring wasn't making her feel any better.

"You." He looked up at her. "You look beautiful, Kana."

She smiled. "Thank you." Kana kissed him lightly, barely brushing her lips over his. "I never would have bought anything like this for myself. Do you want me to try on the panties too?"

His mouth went dry. "Not right now," he managed to choke out. He was trying to control himself and not rip the lace off her. He placed several light kisses on her breasts where the lace met her skin. Shuuhei kept his hands on her waist as he tried to keep himself in control.

Kana wondered if he knew how sexy he made her feel. Riding on that sexiness, she cupped his head in her hands and angled his head toward hers. "Take me out tonight." She wanted to prolong this feeling.

"O-o-out?" he stammered.

Amused by his confusion, Kana wiggled off him. "No where fancy. I want to go out on your motorcycle."

Shuuhei looked down at his hands. How had they gone from foreplay to dinner? He took a breath to calm himself. Standing, he decided to go to follow her and talk her into staying in for a while. Before he could take the first step, there was a knock on the door.

Different ways to get rid of whoever it was ran through his head. Shuuhei opened the door.

"Hisagi-san!"

"Kira? What are you doing here?"

"I had some business to take care of earlier today." Kira looked at Shuuhei. "I was thinking maybe we could go out to dinner. Catch up. Maybe Yumi and Ikkaku could join us." Kira saw a movement past Shuuhei and looked at Kana.

Shuuhei turned to her. "Kana, this is Kira." Kira walked inside the apartment and shook hands with Kana. "I'll call Yumi and Ikkaku. Do you mind, Kana?"

"Not at all."

Kira looked at Kana. "I hope I wasn't interrupting anything."

"You weren't," Kana smiled.

"We'll meet Yumi and Ikkaku at the restaurant in 30 minutes," Shuuhei told them. "Kira, are you staying in town tonight?"

"I have another meeting in the morning."

It was manners that had Shuuhei asking, "Do you need a place to stay?"

"I have a hotel room."

Shuuhei nodded, thankful that his friend wouldn't be imposing on them tonight. They walked out into the hallway. Kana headed toward the elevator while Shuuhei locked the door.

"She's really pretty, Hisagi-san," Kira said as he watched Kana walk down the hallway.

Shuuhei watched her as well. "Don't even think about it."

"Protective of your vocalist?" Kira asked as they headed toward the elevator.

"No. I'm protective of my girlfriend." He took her hand as they stepped on the elevator. "Do you want me to drive?"

"I'll follow you," Kira decided. "If you don't mind."

Shuuhei grinned. "Not as long as you can keep up."

Kira followed him outside to his motorcycle. "Wow. When did you get that?"

"Shortly after I moved here."

"How did you afford it? You were practically broke when you moved."

"I wasn't practically broke. I had some savings." Shuuhei took a breath. "I also had just sold a ring."

"Sorry, Hisagi-san."

Shuuhei shrugged. "It's fine."

As Kira walked over to his car, Kana put her hand on Shuuhei's shoulder. "I like that you bought your motorcycle with the money from her ring." She kissed him lightly. "I like riding on it."

Shuuhei smiled at her. "At least you're getting what you wanted tonight."

Kana straddled the motorcycle. "You'll get what you want," she told him. "Eventually."

"Is that my shirt?" he asked as he looked at her. She had put on a grey button up shirt to go with her skirt and knee high boots.

She smirked at him. "I would have unbuttoned it more if we were alone."

Shuuhei leaned over and kissed her. "You drive me crazy."

"You made me feel very sexy, Shuuhei. I just want to feel like that for a while."

"Kana, you're the sexiest woman I know." He got on the motorcycle and headed to the restaurant with Kira behind him.

...

"We'll be there in a minute. Yumi said he was going to call ahead and make reservations," Shuuhei told Kira as they met him at the door to the restaurant.

"Is everything okay?" Kana asked him when they were alone.

"You tell me." He saw her confusion. "I didn't notice it when you came home because I was thinking about sex. What happened today, Kana?" Shuuhei knew it wasn't like her to feel so down on herself, and now that he looked, he could see a hint of sadness in her eyes.

Kana looked away from him. "There was a girl today...She reminded me of me."

Shuuhei wrapped his arms around her. "Why didn't you say anything when you came home?"

She shrugged. "You seemed so excited to give me my present. I needed a pick-me-up."

He kissed her temple. "If you had told me you were having a bad day, I would have bought you a present more for you and less for me."

She smiled against him. "It makes me feel sexy. I like it."

"Maybe I'll have to buy you more."

She laughed at him. "I still have it on."

"I figured you did." He brushed his lips over hers. "I'm sorry our dinner plans include other people."

"It's fine." There was a gleam in her eyes. "Besides, your friend can tell me all kinds of stories about you." Kana headed for the door of the restaurant, but Shuuhei reached out and grabbed her hand.

"Kana, I love you."

The smile spread slowly across her face. "I love you." Hearing him say those words was the best pick-me-up she could have asked for.

...

There was laughter, and stories, not just of Shuuhei, but of all of them.

"How are things going with the band?" Kira asked.

"We just finished recording a couple of weeks ago," Yumi told him.

"We've had gigs in town every week for the past few weeks, and we'll be going on tour shortly after the album's release," Ikkaku told him.

"When is the release?"

"About a month from now," Kana said.

"Oh. Speaking of our concerts, I spoke to Kyoraku today. He's making a change to the autograph policy." Yumi looked at his band mates.

"Really?" Kana asked.

"Yes. We won't be able to sign undergarments."

Shuuhei nearly choked on his drink. He looked over at Kana who shook her head at him.

"That's a strange request," Kira commented.

"Yes, but I keep getting asked to sign guys' underwear. I won't do it." Yumi grinned and added, "Unless he's cute."

"I had a girl ask me to sign her bra," Shuuhei admitted.

Ikkaku rolled his eyes. "If a hot girl asked me to sign her bra, I would." He thought a moment. "If she asked me to sign her panties I would."

"I haven't gotten any of that." Kana looked at Shuuhei. "I've never been asked to sign undergarments."

"You're a girl. Guys won't ask you to sign their underwear," Ikkaku pointed out.

"But if you want to, I'm sure Shuuhei would let you," Yumi smirked. Ikkaku and Kira laughed. Shuuhei looked at Kana.

"If you want." He leaned over and kissed her. "Then you can buy me something to replace it," he whispered in her ear.

Kana smiled at him. When the conversation went back to another of Kira's stories, she sent Shuuhei a text message. _'What color are you buying me next?'_

Still listening to Kira, he replied to her. _'I'll buy them all. You can model them for me.'_

_'Matching panties too?'_

He lost track of the conversation around him as his imagination went into overdrive.

"Do you remember her, Hisagi-san?" Kira asked

"Wh-What?" he asked, surfacing from his fantasies.

"Momo Hinamori. She was in class with me and Renji..." Kira trailed off.

There was an awkward silence for a moment. "I remember her."

"I have a date with her when I get back."

"That's great, Kira. You've always had a thing for her."

Kana took his hand under the table. He'd never told her the details, but she knew now that Renji was the one his ex had cheated on him with.

A few minutes later while they were still talking about Kira's date, Kana's phone rang.

"It's Nanao," she whispered as she answered the call. They guys stopped talking and watched her. She took Shuuhei's phone from him and typed out the information. She looked up at them when she hung up. "We have a gig, and this one is huge."

"Where?" Yumi inquired.

Kana named one of the best concert halls in the city and watched as their mouths fell open.

"When?" Ikkaku asked.

"Next week. They want us to play for two hours."

"That's what we were planning on doing for the tour," Shuuhei reminded her.

"This will be a dress run for the tour." She looked at the time. "It's too late to have rehearsals tonight, but we will have them starting tomorrow. We'll go through the whole set. We'll try to get through it at least once tomorrow night."

...

Shuuhei drove them away from their apartment. There was a stop he wanted to make first. He hadn't told Kana that they weren't going home just yet. He knew the moment she realized where they were. Her arms tightened around him, and he thought he heard her squeal in his ear. He parked the motorcycle.

"Oh, Shuuhei, can you believe it?" Kana looked up at the marquee. There was a huge grin across her face, and he thought that here was the woman he loved. There was no more hint of sadness in her eyes. Nanao's news had lifted it. He'd hated seeing her upset. "Our name will be up there next week."

"It's what you've always wanted for Rolling Star."

"Didn't you want it too? Haven't you imagined this in your future?"

Shuuhei thought for a moment and saw his future and Kana always by his side. "It doesn't matter what's in my future as long as you're there with me." He kissed her lightly. "But yes, this is what I want for Rolling Star."


	9. A Black Band

Today was a big day in Kana's life. Rolling Star's first album had been released at midnight. It was a hit, as 3am had been when they'd released it. She smiled as she walked in to the apartment.

Shuuhei sat at his computer writing his article. The radio was on, but Shuuhei had halfway tuned it out. He barely heard her come in. "I'm almost done," he said without looking up at her.

Kana kissed his cheek. "Take your time." She had learned that 'almost done' could be anywhere from 5 minutes to an hour. She watched him for a minute before she turned to walk away.

"Done." Shuuhei grabbed her wrist and pulled her down for a kiss. "I was thinking..." he began as he kissed her again, pulling her into his lap.

Kana smiled. "What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking we should go out to dinner tonight to celebrate. I lost count how many times I've heard 3am today. They are really promoting the album today" The song on the radio changed and 3am began. Shuuhei grinned at her.

"This song means a lot to me. I think of it as our song," Kana admitted.

Shuuhei smirked at her. "So do I."

"Our relationship started when this song was written." Kana kissed him. "You gave me full control over us. Are you sure that was a good idea?"

"I knew I wanted to be with you, Kana."

"When you met anKa, I wondered what it would be like to have a normal life and date someone like you."

"We don't have a normal life."

"You did back then."

"I like my life now."

"We should get married."

Shuuhei stared at her a moment. He had thought about marriage, but he hadn't mentioned it to her. "Do you want me to propose to you, Kana?"

"No. I'm trying to propose to you, but I'm not doing a good job of it." She laughed and pulled a ring out of her pocket. "Shuuhei, will you marry me?"

He grinned. "Yes, Kana."

"This is your engagement ring, but you can't wear it on your left hand. People will think we're married." She took his right hand and slipped the black band on his middle finger. "If you wear it here, you can wear it and your wedding ring."

"Kana." Unable to form words, he kissed her, hoping his emotions came through to her.

When they broke some time later, it was only because Shuuhei's phone was ringing. Reluctantly, he answered it.

"A limo will be there to pick up you and Kana in an hour."

"For what, sir?"

Kyoraku chuckled. "For your celebratory party."

"A party?"

"Shuuhei, what happened today?" Shuuhei looked at Kana and almost replied by telling Kyoraku they had gotten engaged. "The album's release," Kyoraku reminded him. "The company is throwing a party for Rolling Star tonight. Your limo will be there in an hour."

Shuuhei hung up the phone. "An hour is not enough time."

"For what?"

"To make love to you." He looked at Kana. "Kyoraku is throwing a party for Rolling Star. Our limo will be here in an hour. That's not enough time for me to make love to you and for us to get ready."

Kana giggled. "We could make it fast."

"No. We just got engaged. It should be more special than a quickie." Still, he couldn't keep his hands off her. "Although there's nothing to say we can't start now."

"Start now?" Kana asked as he began to undress her.

...

An hour and several orgasms later as they stepped onto the elevator, Shuuhei whispered in her ear, "This will be a long night for us."

"Longer than the first night?"

"Maybe." He looked at her. "Are we going to tell Yumi and Ikkaku tonight or wait?"

Kana thought a moment as the elevator doors opened. "Let's wait. This night is about Rolling Star."

Nodding, Shuuhei opened the door for her.

"Kana, you look lovely," Yumi said as he waited for them outside the limo. Kana twirled to show off her long, glittery sapphire blue dress. Yumi kissed her hand as he helped her in the limo. "You clean up rather nicely too, Shuuhei." Rolling his eyes, Shuuhei got into the limo. He wore dark blue jeans, a grey button up shirt and a charcoal suit jacket.

"We didn't know we'd be sharing a limo with you guys," Shuuhei said as the limo began to pull away.

"Kyoraku thought it would be nice if we all arrived at the same time," Yumi explained.

They sat in comfortable silence as the limo drove them to the party. Kana looked up at Shuuhei and smiled. He gave the hand he held a short squeeze.

"Shuuhei and I are engaged!" Kana blurted out. She laughed and looked at Shuuhei. "Sorry. I couldn't wait." He just smiled in reply.

"Oh wow. When did this happen?" Yumi asked.

"This afternoon when Kana got home," Shuuhei told him.

"Let me see your ring," Yumi insisted. Shuuhei lifted up his hand, but Yumi already had Kana's hand in his. Yumi looked over at his friend. "She's not wearing a ring. I thought I taught you better than that."

Kana giggled. "I asked Shuuhei to marry me. He's wearing an engagement ring."

Yumi took Shuuhei's hand and looked at the ring. "Titanium. That's nice."

"It's just a black band," Ikkaku noted.

"Ikkaku!" Yumi scoffed.

"It is, but I think I'd look funny with a diamond solitaire," Shuuhei commented.

Kana laughed. "I thought so too."

"Kana, are you sure about this? I mean, this is Shoes we're talking about."

"I know, and I'm very sure." She leaned over to kiss Ikkaku on the cheek.

...

"You aren't with Kana?" Kyoraku asked as he came up next to Shuuhei.

Shuuhei glanced in her direction. "We got separated not long after we got here, and we haven't wound our way back to each other yet." He had tried to get back to her. He kept getting delayed by guests.

"I hear congratulations are in order for more than one reason tonight," Kyoraku whispered as he acknowledged Shuuhei's ring.

"Tonight is about Rolling Star," Shuuhei replied.

Kyoraku raised his brow at him. "Are you planning on making an announcement?"

"We hadn't talked about it. It happened shortly before your phone call."

"Did you have plans for tonight that I interrupted?"

"Not really."

Kana glanced over at Shuuhei who was talking to Kyoraku. She wanted to make her way back to him, but she kept getting delayed by other guests. The one she was with now wouldn't stop talking long enough for her to make an escape.

"My dear, where is your drink? Aren't you thirsty?"

"A little."

"Here," he said, scooping a drink off the tray of a wandering waiter.

"Thank you," Kana said politely. She put the glass up to her lips and smelled alcohol. Panic washed over her as she lowered the glass and looked for Shuuhei. Their eyes met across the room.

"Excuse me," Shuuhei said to Kyoraku as he crossed the room quickly, ignoring people who called his name.

"Kana, is there something wrong with your drink?" the man asked, noticing she hadn't drank it yet.

"Um… no. Have you met Shuuhei?" she asked as he stepped up beside her. Shuuhei handed her the glass he was holding and shook the man's hand.

"It's a pleasure," Shuuhei said. He took the glass from Kana and took a drink. Kana looked at the drink in his hand and the now empty glass in her hand. Shuuhei winked at her.

They chatted for a moment before the man noticed Kana's empty glass. "Would you like another?"

"No thank you."

"Kyoraku wants to see you," Shuuhei told her. They excused themselves and walked away from the man.

"You switched our drinks," she accused.

"You say that like it's a bad thing." Shuuhei took his glass and hers and gave them to a passing waiter. "Let's go outside for a minute."

"But you said Kyoraku wanted to see me."

"Yeah, I lied." They walked out onto one of the balconies.

"I didn't drink it," she said quietly.

"I know."

"I smelled it though, and I realized that I didn't want it. I don't need alcohol to have a good time." She looked at him. "That's the first time I've had a drink in my hand in almost 6 years."

"Kyoraku knows."

"Of course he does. He visited me when I was in rehab."

"No he knows about our...Wait. What?"

"He visited me when I was in rehab." She looked at him.

"You never told me that. You never talk about your time there."

"It's not easy to talk about."

"Why didn't you tell me that Kyoraku knew about it?"

"I didn't think it mattered." She looked at him. "You're angry about this."

"No. I'm not." He was angry but not about Kyoraku knowing.

"Shuuhei, Kyoraku had to know. If anyone ever realizes that I was anKa, he'll be better prepared to handle it if he knows everything."

"Why did he visit you in rehab?"

"To give me a nudge to get myself back on my feet. He offered me a contract. I had no faith in myself, and it took me a while to agree to it. After rehab, I took some time to be Kana and figure out what Kana liked to do. Kyoraku visited me several times while I was in rehab, but I wasn't ready."

"He...Several times..." Shuuhei took a breath. Anger clawed at him. He walked back inside and toward the bar. With a sigh Kana followed him. Ordering a drink, he looked at Kana. "Do you want anything?"

"Why are you doing this?" she asked quietly.

"Just water for her," Shuuhei told the bartender.

"Shuuhei." She watched him down his drink. "How many have you had?"

"I believe this is my third... no fourth. I drank yours."

"Why?"

"Why not?"

"I thought you limited yourself."

"Maybe tonight I don't want to."

"What about our plans for tonight?"

"What about them?"

His careless tone crushed her. Kana stalked off, angry at him. She walked into the ladies bathroom, sat on the bench and took a deep breath.

Yumi walked up to Shuuhei. "That was nice."

"Shut up Yumi. You have no idea what you're talking about."

"Really? Kana was all smiles in the limo. Every time she's looked at you tonight her eyes lit up. Yet I just watched her walk into the ladies room, and I couldn't tell if she was hurt or angry. She walked away from you. What did you do Shuuhei?"

"Nothing."

"That's bull." They had known each other too long. Yumi knew the rare occasions that Shuuhei failed to tell him what was going on.

"Someone put her in a position she shouldn't have been in. I'm not angry at Kana."

"But you took it out on her," Yumi pointed out. "I'm disappointed, Shuuhei. I thought you were a better man than that. I thought you loved her."

"I do love her," Shuuhei countered as he wondered why the alcohol hadn't eased the guilt of hurting Kana. Looking at his empty glass, he saw the ring around his finger, and he cursed himself. Shuuhei sighed. "Shut up Yumi," he muttered as he walked away. Yumi smirked as he watched Shuuhei walked toward the bathrooms.

Shuuhei opened the door quietly. Kana sat with her back to him. She was alone. He locked them inside and pocketed the key.

Kneeling down in front of her, Shuuhei said her name quietly. Her eyes shot open and in the brief second that they connected with his, he saw her anger. She slapped him. The sound of it echoed in the bathroom.

"I'm sor-," she began, her eyes wide with shock. She hadn't intended to hit him.

"I think I deserved that," he said, cutting her off before she could apologize. "Kana, I'm the one who should be apologizing to you." Shuuhei picked up the hand she slapped him with. "Does it sting?"

"A little. I've never hit anyone before." Shuuhei kissed her palm. His cheek stung, but he thought of it as punishment for hurting her. "You were angry," she said quietly.

He sighed and rested his forehead on hers. "Not with you. Never with you. I am angry with Kyoraku."

"Why?"

"You were in rehab. He knows that. Yet he throws a party for you where there is an abundance of alcohol."

"The party isn't for me. It's for Rolling Star. And Shuuhei, just because I can't have alcohol doesn't mean other people can't have it."

"He put you in a very compromising position. You had an alcoholic drink in your hand."

"But I didn't want it. It is my responsibility to resist it. Not Kyoraku's and not yours. Mine."

Shuuhei nodded in understanding. "Did you tell him we were engaged?"

"No. He didn't mention it to me when I talked to him earlier. I have no idea how he knows. "

"He suggested we make an announcement."

"Maybe we will in a couple of days." Kana leaned in and kissed him. She wrapped her arms around him, pulling him closer. Shuuhei laid his hand on her thigh to keep his balance. His hand was on the slit in her skirt and he ran his thumb over her bare skin. His hand crept slowly under her skirt and up her leg while his mouth trailed down her neck. He nipped at the top of her breasts that spilled over her dress.

"Shuuhei," she breathed. It took Kana a moment to realize the pounding she heard wasn't in her head. She put her hand on his arm. "Shuuhei!" she whispered.

His head shot up as he heard someone shout Kana's name.

"Kana, are you in there?"

"It's Nanao," she whispered. "Just a minute," she called to Nanao.

"She has impeccable timing," Shuuhei muttered as he kissed her.

"I am not having engagement sex with you in a bathroom."

"This would have been makeup sex."

Kana stifled a laugh. "I'm not having sex in a bathroom."

"You've had sex in our bathroom," he pointed out.

"We won't stay much longer," she said, ignoring his comment.

Shuuhei stood and helped her up. He handed her the key and Kana stared at him a minute. "I locked us in. Why do you think Nanao was knocking on the door?"

"Stay here. I'll come get you when it's all clear." Kana unlocked the door and stepped out of the bathroom.

"Kyoraku is looking for you," Nanao said. "He wants Rolling Star on stage, but we couldn't find you or Shuuhei."

"I just needed a minute alone. I haven't seen Shuuhei. I'll help you look for him."

"We looked everywhere." Nanao sighed, and Kana started to follow her back out to the ballroom.

"Did you look in the men's bathroom?" Kana asked.

"Yumichika said Shuuhei wasn't in there."

"Do you mind if I go look? Shuuhei might have gone in there after Yumi looked."

Nanao shrugged. "You have to be on stage in five minutes," she said as she checked her watch.

"I'll be there." Kana walked back to the bathrooms. Checking to make sure no one was around she opened the door to the ladies' bathroom. "Shuuhei?" There was silence. Someone grabbed her hand from behind.

"Looking for someone?" he asked as he spun her around and kissed her.

"Where were you?" He jerked his thumb toward the men's room. "We have to be up on stage in five minutes."

As they made their way to the stage, Shuuhei looked behind Kana. "Mhmm."

"What?" Kana asked as she looked up at him.

"Your dress is backless." He had noticed it when she had left him alone in the bathroom.

"And?"

"And it makes me wonder just how much... or rather how little you have on under it."

"I guess you'll find out when you get home."

...

After Kyoraku's announcement of the sales for their album, it took another hour before Shuuhei and Kana managed to leave. She shivered as they waited for the limo, and Shuuhei took off his jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders. Shuuhei did nothing more than kiss her softly as the limo drove them away from the party. When the limo stopped, Kana glanced out the window.

"This isn't our apartment," she said, confused.

Shuuhei smiled. "I'll be right back." He stepped out of the limo and walked into the all-night grocery store where he didn't waste time in selecting his purchase. Shuuhei grinned when 3am began to play overhead.

The cashier was humming the melody. "This is a really good song," she said to him. "I like it a lot. But I've never heard of this band before. I can't remember their name."

"Rolling Star," Shuuhei provided.

"Yeah. I guess they are new."

"They are. I hear their debut album is great. You should check it out."

The young girl shrugged. "Maybe." She took the money for Shuuhei's purchase.

"Thanks," Shuuhei said as he pulled a card out of his wallet and handed it to her. On one side was the web address for Rolling Star. The other side was a picture of the band.

The cashier looked at the picture for a moment. "Hey. This is you." She looked up, but he was gone.

Shuuhei got into the limo and presented the vase of flowers to Kana.

She smiled. "What did I do to deserve these?"

"You asked me to marry you." He sat next to her and took her hand in his.

"I would have waited for you to ask me, but today seemed like a perfect day." Kana leaned over and kissed him.

"It was a perfect day. Marrying you was something I had thought about. I should have thought of asking you today." He brought her hand up to his lips. "I can't imagine life without you, Kana."

"You don't have to. You're going to be stuck with me." She leaned over and kissed him. "When we get home, maybe we can pick a date."

"Maybe," he whispered, his lips a breath away from hers. "You might be busy when we get home. It might be tomorrow." Shuuhei kissed her, struggling to keep the kiss light. He wasn't going to rush. Not yet. Not while in the limo. He had to control himself.

Kana felt his struggle as their kiss changed several times from soft and innocent to needy and impatient. Her fingers ran teasingly up his neck as she brushed her body against him.

The limo stopped at their apartment, and Shuuhei helped Kana out. He held the vase of flowers while they got on the elevator. As the door closed, Kana tugged his shirt free from his jeans. By the time the elevator stopped on their floor, his shirt was unbuttoned, and her hands had been all over him.

"Where would you like your flowers?" Shuuhei asked as he opened the door.

"In our bedroom."

Shuuhei walked into his bedroom. He grinned at the thought of it being their bedroom now. Placing the flowers on the dresser, he took a moment to make sure they were in the perfect spot. He turned and looked at Kana standing in the doorway. As far as he could tell, she wore only his jacket. She had buttoned it, and Shuuhei couldn't tell if she had anything on under it.

Kana walked over to him and slid his shirt off his shoulders. Keeping his eyes on her, Shuuhei reached behind him and undid the buttons around his cuffs. The shirt fell to the floor.

"It was a nice party for us," Kana said quietly. Shuuhei wasn't sure if she was referring to Rolling Star or to the two of them.

"I would have been fine with a quiet evening home alone with you."

She smiled. "Maybe tomorrow will be quieter."

Shuuhei pulled his phone out of his pocket and turned the ringer to silent. Reaching into the inside pocket of his jacket, his hand brushed over Kana's skin. Taking out her phone, he turned the ringer to silent on it also. "Very quiet." Leaning down, he kissed her. "I love you, Kana."

She grinned. "I love you, Shuuhei." Unbuttoning his jacket, Shuuhei took it off her slowly. Beneath it she wore midnight blue lace panties. They were the ones he had bought her to match her bra, and she had never worn them before.

Picking her up and carrying her to the bed, Shuuhei knew there was no one else he'd rather spend the rest of his life with than her.


	10. Ran Returns

"What do you want, Ran?" Shuuhei asked as he sat on the bench beside her. He didn't want to be here. He didn't want to see her. Rolling Star had a two week break in the tour, and he didn't want to waste his time. "You said it was important."

"What happened to you, Shuuhei?"

"It's a long story I'd rather not get in to right now." He glanced at the kids who played nearby. "Where's Renji?"

"I don't know. We aren't together." She sounded sad, and Shuuhei tried his best not to care.

"I can't stay long. What did you want to see me about?"

"Her. Isn't she beautiful?"

"Who?"

Rangiku pointed toward one of the children. "Your daughter."

At first Shuuhei was too stunned to think. "My daughter?" He watched the little girl with strawberry blonde hair. There was no doubt she was Rangiku's daughter. "Are you sure?"

"She looks like you, Shuuhei."

"That doesn't mean anything."

"You don't believe me?" Rangiku pouted.

"Not after I wondered how many times you lied to me so you could be with him."

"Shuuhei, I never lied to you."

Shuuhei stood. "As much as I want to believe that, I can't. I need to know for sure that she's..." he gulped. "Mine." He thought a moment. "We'll set up a paternity test. I'll call you with the details." As he walked out of the park he saw Kana. She was frozen in place, and her eyes were wide.

"Shuuhei," she began quietly.

He took her hand and kissed her lightly. Kana could feel his need for her. "I'll explain at home."

"At least tell me who she was."

"My ex-girlfriend."

Neither of them realized that Rangiku had watched Shuuhei walk out of the park and kiss the pink haired woman.

On the way home, Kana let him brood. "What did she want?" Kana asked when he sat on the couch.

"She claims her daughter is mine."

"Do you believe her?"

"I don't know, Kana. It's convenient that she waited until our album released. But the kid could be mine." He sighed and ran a hand over his face. "I need to set up a paternity test. Kyoraku is not going to be happy."

"Do you want her to be yours?"

"I don't know. Maybe. I want kids, but I've missed so much of her life already. Why did she wait so long to tell me?"

Kana looked up at him. "Shuuhei, if she's yours, we'll take care of her."

"I couldn't ask you to do that, Kana."

"You don't have to ask me. I'm telling you. If she's your child, we'll take care of her."

"Why?"

"Because I love you, and I know you would want to make sure she was raised right."

Shuuhei smiled. "I love you, Kana. Why do you always seem to know what I need?"

"I just do." She kissed him softly, giving herself to him and getting from him just what she needed.

...

Shuuhei stared at the envelope. It had been a long week waiting for the results, and now he wasn't sure if he wanted to know. He hadn't slept well in days, even with Kana beside him. The contents of this envelope could change his life.

Kana walked in to their apartment, startled to find Shuuhei sitting on the floor by the door. She bent down next to him.

"I can't open it," Shuuhei muttered.

"I will if you want me to."

"Yeah."

Kana took the envelope from him and read the letter. "Oh." Shuuhei looked up at her. "We regret to inform you that the child in question does not share your genetic makeup." She paused. "I'm sorry, Shuuhei."

He let out a breath. "It's ok." Shuuhei reached out and took Kana's hand. "Is it bad that I didn't want her to be mine so I didn't have to be tied to Rangiku?"

"No. I understand, Shuuhei." Kana leaned over and kissed him lightly. "Has she always been that busty or was that brought on by the pregnancy."

"She's always been all boobs no brains."

"She had to have some intelligence. You were interested in her."

"I lusted after her in college, and when she finally gave me the chance, I took it." He studied Kana. "Proposing to her would have been the biggest mistake of my life." Shuuhei touched Kana's cheek. "I never would have met you, Kana. Never would have fallen in love with you. I wouldn't have been happy." He kissed her softly. "How was your fitting?"

"Good," she replied, standing up and turning away from him.

"I know this can't be easy planning a wedding while we're on tour."

"No it's not, but the last concert is here and our wedding is two days after it. This break helps, and Nanao's helping with some of the details." She sighed and tried to fight back the feeling of guilt. She was losing. "Shuuhei, I'm sorry."

He shrugged and stood up. "It's ok." He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her temple. "Besides, I'd rather have a child with you."

"You what?"

"I've been giving it a lot of thought. Do you want to have kids, Kana?"

"This isn't what I was sorry about." She paused. "I mean I am sorry but..."

"I'm not sorry, Kana. Not really."

"I didn't have a fitting today." She couldn't look at him. "I'm sorry."

"Where did you go?"

"I had a doctor's appointment," she said quietly.

"Why didn't you tell me? I'd have gone with you."

"I didn't want to worry you any more than you already were."

"Kana," he began. Then it hit him. "Did you find out why you're so tired lately?" She nodded. Shuuhei tilted her chin up and met her eye. "What did the doctor say?"

"It's not the tour making me tired. I'm pregnant."

"You... You're pregnant?"

"I'm sorry I went without you. A few days ago, I thought it might be a possibility, and I didn't know how to mention it. You were already thinking you might be a father, and it seemed wrong to take away from that." There were tears in her eyes.

"You're pregnant?" he repeated.

"Shuuhei, I'm sor-"

He put his hand up to her lips. "Don't apologize for this, Kana." Shuuhei wiped the tears from her eyes. "Unless you don't want..."

"Oh. No. I do." She smiled at him. "I just thought it might be later like after we were married maybe."

Shuuhei smiled at her. "That might have been ideal."

"The doctor said that it's common to be tired during your first trimester. The tour doesn't really help though."

"How far along are you?"

"About five weeks. I should be able to finish the tour before I start showing. My wedding dress should be ok. It's form-fitting but not like tight or anything. I shouldn't be telling you about my wedding dress."

Shuuhei chuckled and picked her up. "If it makes you feel any better, I was only half-listening." She looked up at him. "I was trying to figure out when we conceived."

"Right before the tour started."

"That's what I thought." Shuuhei laid her on the bed. "You sound tired, Kana," he said as he lay next to her.

"I didn't sleep well last night."

"I don't think either of us did. Go to sleep, Kana."

"But we have our meeting with Kyoraku."

"In a few hours." Shuuhei set the alarm on his phone. "We'll rest a bit before we go."

...

"You don't love me anymore!" Rangiku screamed as tears streamed down her face.

Shuuhei took a deep breath. "Ran, I care about you. That's why I said I'd do this. If she was mine, you know I'd take full responsibility for her."

"You faked those tests."

"How do you fake a paternity test?"

"She looks just like you."

"She looks like you, Ran. She doesn't look like me." He glanced back at Kana and wondered briefly if their child would look like him.

"The child is not Shuuhei's." Kyoraku stated with finality.

"What about Renji? Did he know about her?" Shuuhei asked.

"No. He left right after you did."

"Ms. Matsumoto, we need you to sign confidentiality papers concerning this." She huffed but signed the papers. Without a word to Shuuhei, Rangiku left the room.

"Shuuhei," Kyoraku began.

"Find him."

"What?"

"Find Renji Abarari. I'll pay for it."

Kyoraku nodded. "Very well. Anything else?"

Kana spoke for the first time. "I'm pregnant."

"Congratulations. Are you planning on making an announcement?"

"Not until after the wedding. I'm not that far along."

Kyoraku nodded, and they left his office. As they stepped on the elevator, Kana looked at Shuuhei.

"You still care about her," she said quietly.

Shuuhei shrugged. "I spent over a year of my life with her." He sighed. "I still don't fully trust her."

They were quiet for a moment. "My mother was wrong. If you still care about Rangiku, then you would still care about me and be friends with me if this ever fizzled."

Shuuhei smiled. "I hate to break it to you, but this is never going to fizzle."


	11. Dreams

They were back out on tour; back amongst the fans, the lights and the long nights.

"Did you sleep well last night?" Shuuhei asked. She had tossed and turned most of the night despite the fact that they were in a hotel room and not sleeping on the tour bus.

She smiled at him and asked, "Worrying about me?"

"It's my job to worry about the woman I love. Especially in her condition. I worry about both of you."

It touched her heart to know how much he cared. "I feel fine."

"Kyoraku's moved a lot of the interviews until later in the morning."

"I know. He didn't have to do that."

"You could say it was partially my idea."

"Why?"

"Because you don't get enough rest as it is. I don't want anything to happen to you or the baby."

...

While Shuuhei began Stand Up, Kana walked off stage. She was feeling a little light-headed, and she wanted to get some water. She glanced back at Shuuhei before everything went black.

There had been noises; shouts, screams, bright lights. She couldn't make them out, and they seemed to blur together.

When Kana woke, the lights were dim. There was a faint beeping sound, and someone held her hand.

"Shuuhei?" she croaked.

"Kana? Are you ok? How do you feel?"

"What happened?" He hesitated. Kana squeezed his hand. "The concert. We have to get back."

"The concert is over, Kana."

"Why? We weren't done." One of the machines began to beep faster.

"You fainted."

A nurse walked into the room. "Excuse me, Mr. Hisagi we need to check on her now."

Shuuhei stood, but Kana wouldn't let go of his hand. She gripped it tighter. "Don't leave me."

"I won't." Giving her hand a light squeeze, Shuuhei kissed her forehead. He had been very adamant about staying with her. He hadn't wanted her to wake up alone. Shuuhei stood back in a corner of the room like he had done every hour when they came to check on her.

The nurse looked at Kana. "You need more rest before we can let you go. We're going to take out the IV now." She nodded and looked at Shuuhei who held her gaze until the nurse left.

Shuuhei walked over and sat down on the bed next to her. "I watched you walk off stage. You looked at me, and then you fainted." He didn't remember that he had shouted her name. "Someone called the paramedics, and they brought you here. You were dehydrated and in need of rest."

"The baby?"

"It's fine. You need to schedule an appointment with your doctor when we get home. I'm going with you. Kyoraku's trying to keep your pregnancy out of the press, but there are a lot of rumors going around. I told Yumi and Ikkaku. I thought they needed to know." Shuuhei pulled her close. "I was so scared."

"I'm sorry. I was feeling light-headed, and I wanted to get some water." She nuzzled against him. "Are they going to make you leave?"

"They can try. I'm not going to leave you."

She was quiet for a moment. "Shuuhei, I'm not going to faint again, but I'm really tired." She looked up at him. "Will you lay down with me?"

He nodded and shifted to lie down on his side next to her. The bed was small, and it reminded him of the few times they spent in her bed. "No funny business," Shuuhei whispered before he kissed her.

Kana smiled. "Why not?"

"Because they're still monitoring you."

"Tomorrow then. When I'm not being monitored."

He kissed her forehead. "Go to sleep, Kana. I love you."

"I love you, Shuuhei." Curled up against him with his arm around her, Kana fell into a peaceful sleep.

...

If they came in to check on her during the night, they hadn't disturbed him. Shuuhei couldn't remember being woken up by them. Someone had to have come in at some point though because he had a blanket over him.

Digging his phone out of his pocket, Shuuhei sent a text message to Yumi and Ikkaku. He knew they would want to come see Kana, and he had a favor to ask.

The door opened a few minutes later, and a nurse poked her head in the room. Shuuhei started to get up, but she shook her head. She checked the machines Kana was hooked up to then smiled and left.

Looking at Kana, Shuuhei noticed the color was back in her cheeks. She didn't look as pale as she had last night. There were still some shadows under her eyes, but he thought some of that might have been from the makeup she had slept in. He started to get up again when Kana pulled him back down next to her.

"Stay. Just a minute longer."

Shuuhei leaned over and kissed her. "Yumi and Ikkaku are on their way."

"They know we sleep together, Shuuhei."

He smiled. "But knowing is different than seeing." He brushed her hair back off her face. "How did you sleep?"

"Good." She smiled at him. "I feel very good this morning."

"At least we don't have a concert tonight. You can rest all day."

"I feel bad about not finishing last night's concert."

"We'll work something out." He kissed her softly before his phone signaled an incoming text. He looked at it. "Yumi and Ikkaku are on their way up." Giving in to her small pout, Shuuhei kissed her again. "Once you get out of here, we can spend the whole day in bed."

She was laughing when Yumi and Ikkaku came in.

"I brought what you asked. I can't believe you had me sneak food into a hospital."

"Food?" Kana asked, suddenly feeling hungry.

"I had Yumi pick you up some pancakes."

"Don't they serve breakfast at hospitals?" Ikkaku asked.

"Kana won't eat breakfast unless it's pancakes." Shuuhei disappeared into the bathroom with the duffle bag Yumi brought.

"Shuuhei makes really good pancakes," Kana replied as she dug into the stacks in front of her.

"How are you feeling, Kana?" Yumi asked.

"Good. Very good." She looked at him and Ikkaku. "I'm sorry I fainted."

"Don't be sorry, Kana. These things happen."

"It's never happened to me before," she muttered thinking about the concerts she'd given as anKa. "What are you having for breakfast?" she asked Shuuhei when he came out of the bathroom in a fresh t-shirt and jeans.

Shuuhei looked at her nearly empty plate. There had been two orders of pancakes. With a grin he said, "You were supposed to share."

"Oh. I'm sorry."

"I'll get something later," he said, sitting on the bed next to her.

"Shuuhei, about your guitar," Yumi began.

"What happened to your guitar?"

"I... uh..." He couldn't remember.

"He dropped it," Yumi informed them. "The neck broke. You'll need to get a new one."

"You're sure?" Shuuhei asked.

"I'm sorry Shuuhei."

He shook his head. Shuuhei had bought that guitar shortly after he had joined Rolling Star. He used it when he was on stage. "I have my other one. I'll use it to finish the tour and order a new one when we get home."

"Man you just slung it off and it hit the stage," Ikkaku said.

"I didn't make it in time to catch you," Shuuhei told Kana. He remembered that much.

She laid her hand over his. "It's okay, Shuuhei. I'm okay."

...

It was late when Kana woke the next day. She was alone in the bed she shared with Shuuhei on the tour bus. She walked out into the common area. Yumi and Ikkaku were at the table playing a game, and Shuuhei sat on the couch with his legs stretched out. His laptop sat in his lap. When he saw her, he saved his article and moved the laptop so she could sit down.

"Did you sleep well?" he asked as she curled up in his lap.

Kana nodded. "You weren't there when I woke up."

"I've been up for a few hours."

"A few hours?"

He chuckled and kissed her temple. "It's after noon."

"Why did you let me sleep so late?"

"Because you need the rest."

"Aren't they cute?" Yumi said as he watched Shuuhei and Kana out of the corner of his eye.

Ikkaku shrugged. "Shoes seems pretty happy."

"He is. He's the only man among us getting regular sex."

"Speak for yourself." Ikkaku grinned.

"You? With who?"

"A woman."

"Tell me, Ikkaku."

"Nope." He looked over at his band mates on the couch. "Hey! Hands where I can see them."

Shuuhei grinned as he continued to kiss Kana. He placed his hands on her back, pulling her closer. Kana laughed.

"He's so strict." She kissed Shuuhei again. "I'm hungry. Do you want anything?"

"We can have lunch."

"What's your article about?" Kana asked as the four of them sat at the table for lunch.

"Dreams," Shuuhei replied.

"Man, last night I had this dream that I was like 100 feet tall," Ikkaku started.

"Not those kinds of dreams."

"You mean like what you wanted to do with your life?" Yumi asked.

"Yeah. Like I wanted to write, and I wanted to play my guitar. I thought I could only have one of those. I thought music had to be a hobby. I went and got a degree in journalism. I didn't think I'd be able to make it as a guitarist."

"You're a great guitarist," Kana said. "And a great writer."

"I got lucky. I am doing both."

"You should do your article on all of us. On what our dreams were," Yumi suggested.

"What was your dream, Yumi?" Shuuhei asked as he thought over his friend's suggestion.

He smirked. "To be famous."

Shuuhei laughed. "You always had to be center of attention."

"Yes. I like it, and I don't mind sharing it with my friends." Yumi grinned. "Ikkaku?"

Ikkaku shrugged. "I don't know. I didn't really have a dream. I just wanted to get out of that town. So I followed Yumi."

"Getting out of town was your dream," Shuuhei said.

"I guess." Ikkaku looked at Kana. "What was your dream?"

She smiled. It was time to tell them. "I lived my dream."

"You did?" Yumi asked.

"For a while. I didn't go to a regular high school like you all did. I had a private tutor. My mother had me enrolled in voice lessons for as long as I can remember. I wanted to be a famous singer."

"You said 'lived'. Don't you meaning 'living'?" Yumi corrected.

"No. This is the second time I've done this. The first time I was solo. It's much better having you all here though."

"When did you do solo work?" Yumi inquired.

"When I performed as anKa." She watched shock wash over Yumi's face.

"anKa?"

"Who?" Ikkaku asked.

Shuuhei opened his mouth to reply, but Kana cut him off as she sang the chorus on anKa's most popular song.

"Oh. Her. I remember her. Shoes had a huge crush on her."

"I did not."

"You did," Yumi replied. "You went to her concert alone."

"I won tickets, and no one would go with me."

"Not to a girly show," Ikkaku said. "No offense, Kana."

Kana smiled at him. "You had a crush on anKa?" she teased Shuuhei.

"I thought she was pretty. You know that. I told her... I told you that I thought you were pretty."

"Oh. That's right. You met anKa." Yumi looked at Shuuhei.

"Shuuhei was the last person to met anKa," Kana told them.

"How long have you known, Shuuhei?"

"I figured it out shortly after we started dating."

"Very few people know, and I'd like to keep it that way," Kana said as she looked at them. "I have a new dream though. I kept it simple this time. I just want to be happy."

"I think we can manage that," Shuuhei said as he leaned over and kissed her.


	12. Last Concert of the Tour

Shuuhei glanced around the bus to make sure he hadn't forgotten anything. They had already dropped off Yumi and Ikkaku. He had already taken his and Kana's suitcases up to their apartment. All that was left was Kana, who was still sleeping. Walking back to their room, he opened the door quietly. She was still where he had left her a couple of hours ago. He said her name softly, but she didn't stir. Shuuhei pulled the covers back, thankful that Kana had slept in his t-shirt and her pajama pants. Gently, he picked her up and carried her off the bus.

"Where are we?" Kana mumbled as they rode up the elevator.

He smiled. "We're home."

Kana opened her eyes and looked around. "Home," she whispered. "We have to go get our stuff off the bus."

"I already brought our stuff up. You were the last thing I had to get off the bus."

"You could put me down. I can walk on my own," she told him as the elevator opened on their floor.

Shuuhei laughed. "You don't have any shoes on." He nudged open the partially closed door with his shoulder. Once inside, he carried her into their room and put her down on the bed. Kissing her, he whispered, "Welcome home, Kana."

"Welcome home, Shuuhei." She kissed him. "Why did you bring me in here?"

"I thought you could go back to sleep for a while, if you want. Or we could..." he trailed off, but she knew exactly what he was thinking.

Kana smiled. "We had sex in every city we visited."

"And several times on the tour bus," he reminded her. Most nights they had stayed in hotels unless they were driving to a city further away. "It's not as much fun when I have to keep you quiet so others don't hear us."

Kana blushed. "I shouldn't go back to sleep. I have my last fitting for my dress. I need to get ready. What are you going to do while I'm gone?"

Shuuhei shrugged and sat next to her. "I need to order a new guitar, but I don't know if I want to wait until we get back from our honeymoon. I don't want to be gone when it arrives." He also needed to pick up her ring, but he wasn't going to mention it to her.

Kana smiled. "Order it after our honeymoon. Where are we going?"

He grinned at her. "Someplace we haven't been yet."

"I'll need to know what to pack; clothes for warm weather or cold weather?"

He let out a breath. She was right. "We're going someplace where the sky is blue, the grass is green and the temperatures are warm." He wanted the secluded beach house to be a surprise.

"So I need to do laundry before we go."

"Probably," he smiled at her.

"I'll go start now. Get it over with that much faster."

...

With laundry going in the background, Shuuhei put the finishing touches on his article about the dreams of Rolling Star. Using all of their dreams had been a really good idea. He started off with Ikkaku's dream of being 100 ft tall, and ended with Kana's simple dream of happiness. After their discussion at lunch, he had talked to them individually to get more details.

His phone beeped, and he looked at the text.

_'Where are you?'_

_'At the computer. Where do I need to be?'_

_'You're fine where you are.'_

Shuuhei grinned and wondered if she was bringing home her dress. _'Should I close my eyes?'_

_'Yes.' _Opening the door, she said, "Keep your eyes closed." She walked over to him and sat the case down gently, trying not to make much noise. Holding it upright, she told him to open his eyes.

For a moment, Shuuhei only stared in awe. It wasn't her wedding dress. He stood. "Kana, what did you do?"

"I got you a gift. It's my way of saying thank you."

Taking the case from her, Shuuhei walked over and laid it on the couch. He opened the case and looked inside. "It's the same."

"It is the exact same one." She smiled at him. "Well, mostly."

Taking out the guitar, Shuuhei looked it over. At the top of the neck was a trio of stars that mimicked the necklace he had given her. "Kana," he began.

"I know how much your guitar meant to you, and you broke it because of me."

Putting the guitar in the case, and closing the lid, he looked at her. "You're more important to me than a guitar. It can be replaced. You can't." He kissed her. "Thank you. You didn't have to..."

"I wanted to." She smiled at him. "I ordered it the day after I got out of the hospital. I had it sent to Kyoraku."

He grinned at her. "You thought it through, didn't you?"

"Shuuhei, getting you a new guitar was the least I could do for you."

"I appreciate it." He kissed her. "I thought you were bringing home your wedding dress, and you didn't want me to see it."

"They are delivering it tomorrow. It fits perfectly, but they wanted to make sure it was wrinkle free."

"I can't wait to see you in it."

Kana smiled. "I can't believe we're getting married in a couple of days."

"I never thought this would happen when you asked me to move in with you."

She laughed. "That was the best decision I ever made."

...

"How are you all doing out there?" Ikkaku asked. His face appeared on monitors above the stage. The audience screamed. Ikkaku looked around as if he was looking to see if anyone had noticed he had a camera. "Let's go backstage." The audience screamed again. Ikkaku stopped at double doors. He looked right, then left then slowly opened the door. The camera panned the room and focused on Yumi who was tying his tie.

"The pretty boy," Ikkaku muttered.

"It always pays to look your best, Ikkaku." Yumi winked into the camera. In the audience, girls swooned.

Ikkaku rolled his eyes. "You take longer to get ready than Kana does."

"Kana's not wearing a three piece suit, is she?" Yumi looked at Ikkaku. "Where are they?"

The camera swung around and focused on Shuuhei and Kana sitting on a couch. They were whispering to each other. Kana kissed Shuuhei, and the audience went wild. Ikkaku walked over to them.

"What are you two whispering about?"

Shuuhei grinned. "I can't tell you that, Baldy."

"I'm not bald!"

Kana laughed. "I was trying to get Shuuhei to tell me where we're going for our honeymoon."

"It's a secret," he replied.

"Right. Big wedding coming up in a couple of days."

"Yes, but first, we have an amazing concert to put on."

"Oh yeah!" Ikkaku yelled. Yumi walked over to them. "We'll see you guys in a few minutes!" Ikkaku told the audience. Rolling Star waved at the camera before it faded to black. The audience roared with delight.

"They eat that up," Yumi said as he went over to the mirror again.

"What?"

"You two. Your relationship. The fans love it."

"We're not in a relationship for the fans," Shuuhei defended.

"I know. They still love it." Yumi looked back at them. "We're still up for tonight, right?" They'd made plans to go out after the concert.

"Of course we are." Shuuhei nodded.

"Five minutes!" Someone shouted into the room.

Kana took a breath and looked at Shuuhei. "This is our last concert before we're married."

"Let's make it a great one."

...

Four glasses of champagne were delivered when they were seated.

"A toast," Yumi began, picking up his glass.

"I can't drink champagne, Yumi," Kana told him.

"One small glass won't hurt the baby." Yumi looked at her.

"Yumi, I can't."

"Kana, it'll be fine." Yumi looked at Shuuhei and Ikkaku for reassurance.

"Yumi, you're an idiot," Ikkaku told him. "In all the time we've known Kana, have you ever seen her drink any kind of alcohol."

Yumi thought a moment. "No."

"Me either." Ikkaku looked at Kana. "She really shouldn't drink it and not because of the baby."

"You know?" Kana asked.

Ikkaku shrugged. "I did some research after you told us. I was curious about what happened before."

Kana smiled at him.

"What are you talking about?" Yumi asked.

"Kana's been-" Ikkaku started.

"I'm an alcoholic."

Yumi stared at her. "How come you didn't tell us?"

"We didn't tell Ikkaku," Shuuhei pointed out. "He figured it out on his own."

"Oh," Yumi's face fell. "Then I guess we won't toast."

"We can still toast. Shuuhei will just have to drink my champagne for me."

Yumi smiled at her and raised his glass. "A toast. To Rolling Star and the end of this tour. And to Shuuhei and Kana. May you always be happy."

Glasses clinked and the men drank.

"If Kana can't drink, what are you toasting with at the wedding?" Yumi asked.

"We will be drinking sparkling cider. It looks like champagne from a distance. Our guests will have champagne. Unless they prefer something nonalcoholic," Shuuhei explained.

"I see."

"Hey, Shoes, after you get married, are you still going to wear your engagement ring?"

Shuuhei looked down at the black band around his finger. "I haven't taken it off since Kana put it on me." He looked over at her. "I'll probably never take it off."

Kana smiled at him.

"What about Kana's ring?" Yumi asked.

Shuuhei grinned. "You'll see it after Kana's wearing it."


	13. Now and Forever

Kana had her eyes closed as they drove home. Her face was resting against Shuuhei's back. She loved the feel of being on his motorcycle; of being so close to him.

It had been good for them to go out on it today since they had spent so much time cooped up on the tour bus. The wind whipped around them and Kana had never felt more alive and more in love than she did at this moment.

When they stopped at the light, Shuuhei picked up Kana's hand and kissed it. The appointment had gone well, and it had been humbling hearing their baby's heartbeat. It was still too early to tell if their child was a boy or girl, but they were looking forward to going back and finding out.

Shuuhei pulled into the parking lot of their apartment complex and parked the motorcycle.

"Kana get off that thing. You could have been hurt."

Kana looked up at her mother as she got off the motorcycle. "Shuuhei's a great driver."

"I'm sure he is, but I've been waiting for you. I tried calling you."

"I had an appointment."

"Something for the wedding?"

"It was a follow up appointment with my doctor," Kana said quietly. It wasn't the full truth, but it wasn't a lie either. Her mother had known about the fainting spell.

"Emi, can I get your bag for you?" Shuuhei asked. As Emi walked over to her car, Shuuhei whispered in Kana's ear, "Tell her."

"I don't know how."

"Do you want me to tell her?"

"No. I will. Before the wedding. I promise."

"Does she know we're getting married tomorrow?" he teased.

"Of course she does."

Shuuhei kissed her lightly before walking over to help Emi with her bag.

They walked into the apartment, and Shuuhei put Emi's bag outside of Kana's room before heading to his own room.

"You keep your dress in here?" Emi asked as she looked around Kana's room.

"It just came this morning."

"Did Shuuhei see it?"

"Not that I know of. He's not allowed in my room." Kana glanced behind her. "Shuuhei will be leaving soon." Emi nodded. She had wondered how long he would stay. "A car will be here in about a couple of hours to pick us up for our spa treatments."

"Mother-daughter manicures and pedicures." Emi smiled. "I wish your father could be here to see you get married."

Kana smiled. "He would have liked Shuuhei." She had loved her father, and his untimely passing had devastated her when she had been a child.

Emi caught a movement out in the living room. "Go say goodbye to Shuuhei. We can talk after he leaves."

Kana walked out of the room and didn't notice her mother close the door behind her.

Smiling, she stood at the door to his room and watched Shuuhei pack his suitcase. "You just unpacked everything."

"I know." He grinned at her. "I'm not packing as much this time. We're only going to be gone ten days."

"Where are we going?" she inquired as she walked over to him.

"You'll find out when we get there." Shuuhei kissed her.

She followed him into the bathroom. "You don't have to leave so soon. You can stay a while."

"You need to talk to your mother."

Kana scrunched up her nose. "She's just going to lecture me about getting pregnant, using protection, and all that. I'll have to agree with what she says just to get her to stop."

He grinned. "Why do you think I'm not staying?" Shuuhei reached over and closed the door. Picking up Kana, he placed her on the counter and stepped between her legs. "Kana, I love you, and I have no regrets with you."

"I love you. I have no regrets with you." She kissed him.

...

"How is it I'm done before you?" Emi asked as she watched a technician paint her daughter's nails.

"I changed my mind on my polish color. I had picked out red, but I like this better." Her nails were a romantic dark pink that suited her more than a bold red would have. The technician had just started applying the red polish when Kana changed her mind. "Will you hand me my wallet out of my purse?"

Emi picked up Kana's purse and reached inside. She pulled out the sonogram photograph and saw the words 'Baby Hisagi' in the corner. A gasp escaped her lips. "Kana, what is this?"

Kana looked at her mother. "It's exactly what it looks like. We will talk about it later."

"But Kana," Emi began.

"Later," Kana repeated. She didn't want the news to spread just yet. Emi nodded and retrieved Kana's wallet.

...

"No girls. This is boys' night." Ikkaku said when Shuuhei's phone rang.

"It's Kana. I have to answer it."

"She has you trained," Yumi commented with a grin. Ikkaku barked, but Shuuhei ignored him.

"She's supposed to let me know when she told her mother that she's pregnant."

"She hasn't told her mother yet?" Yumi asked.

Shuuhei walked into the other room and answered his phone.

"I was afraid they wouldn't let me talk to you," she confessed.

"They almost didn't," he told her. "How did it go?"

"She saw the picture in my purse and she..." Kana let out a breath. "She's so excited. I think she's more excited about the baby than she is about our wedding."

Shuuhei laughed. "That's good."

"Shuuhei, I promised her... Well actually I thought of it earlier when she arrived. I hope you don't mind, but we had been talking about my father, and I thought I'd like to name the baby after him. If it's a boy."

"I don't mind, Kana." She was quiet for a moment, and Shuuhei thought he heard her sniff. "Kana," he said softly, wanting to be there with her.

"I'm sorry."

"You can't cry if I'm not there to wipe away your tears."

"They're happy tears." She wiped them herself.

They didn't make him feel happy. "Kana, what are you wearing?"

She laughed as he hoped she would. "A smile."

"And?"

"And?" she asked coyly.

"And what else?"

Kana grinned. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

"I would."

"I'm in bed. Our bed." She yawned hugely. "My mother wants to go shopping for the baby. I think I talked her into waiting until we find out if it's a boy or a girl."

"That might be best."

"I was thinking we could turn my room into a nursery." She yawned again. "Unless we want to move into a real house."

"It's something to think about."

"Maybe we should look at houses when we get back from our honeymoon. Where are we going?"

He grinned. "Maybe we will."

"You didn't answer my question."

"You still haven't answered mine."

"I know." Kana smiled. "I am wearing a smile though."

"Someplace where the sky is blue, the grass is green and the temperatures are warm." It was the only clue he'd give her about their honeymoon. Kana laughed, and it turned into yet another yawn. "Get some sleep, Kana. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Goodnight, Shuuhei. I love you."

"I love you."

"I'm wearing your shirt. It's like being wrapped in your arms even though you're not here." She disconnected the call and for a moment, Shuuhei stood where he was with a smile on his face.

...

Half asleep, Kana reached for her ringing cell phone and answered it.

"Good morning."

"Good morning," Kana said with a smile.

"I hope I didn't wake you."

"I was awake, but I'm still in bed. It's odd not sleeping next to you."

Shuuhei smiled. "I know. I felt the same way last night. It took me a while to get to sleep." Once he had finally managed to get rid of Ikkaku and Yumi.

"It was just for one night," Kana reminded him.

"I know. I'm already counting down the time until I see you."

"How long do we have?"

"Too long."

Kana laughed. "It'll be here before you know it."

"I hope so." Shuuhei paused. "I made you breakfast," he told her.

"You were here, and you didn't wake me up?"

"Kana, if I had been there you would have known. I made pancakes for you. They're in the freezer. All you have to do is put them in the toaster to heat them."

She smiled. "Thank you, Shuuhei."

"I knew you wouldn't eat anything if I didn't make you pancakes."

"Is that what you were doing yesterday when I got up?"

He smiled. "Yes."

She stretched. "You're always taking care of me."

"Now and forever."

There was a knock on the door. "Kana? Are you awake? Aki's on her way up."

"I should go. Mom's up and Aki's on her way."

"Share your pancakes with them."

"No," Kana said with a laugh. "I love you."

"I love you. See you soon."

...

In front of their closest friends, family, and fellow musicians, Shuuhei and Kana were married. They said "I do" and made vows to each other. When the preacher, a man named Ukitake, asked for the rings, Shuuhei turned around to Yumi.

"It's beautiful, Shuuhei. You did well."

Shuuhei grinned and took the ring from him. "With this ring, as a sign of my love, I thee wed." He slipped the seven carat emerald cut diamond on her finger.

Kana looked from the ring to him. "It's gorgeous."

"Just like my wife," he whispered.

Kana smiled and took his ring from Aki. "With this ring, as a sign of my love, I thee wed." This band was steely grey platinum that had reminded her of his eyes.

Ukitake smiled. "I now pronounce you man and wife. Shuuhei, you may kiss your bride." He didn't need to be told twice. Shuuhei pulled her closer to him and kissed her. The people watching cheered. When they broke apart, Ukitake looked out at the crowd. "I present to you Shuuhei and Kana Hisagi."


	14. Little Star

Their daughter had been restless all night. She kicked and moved while Shuuhei and Kana sat and watched TV. Neither of them had minded. With Kana's due date creeping closer, they were looking forward to finally meeting their daughter in a couple of weeks.

Kana woke in the middle of the night with a gasp. "Shuuhei, my water broke." She reached out for his hand and griped it hard when a contraction went through her.

"Breathe, Kana. Just like we learned." He coached her through the breathing, through her contraction. Shuuhei got out of bed and got dressed. "Do you want to change?"

She looked down at herself. All she had on was a t-shirt. "I just need some pants. They'll make me change into a hospital gown when I get there." Shuuhei got her a pair of lounge pants. "My bag isn't packed. I don't have anything ready."

"I know. I'll come back later and get some things for you both." He led her out to the car. Another contraction went through her.

"Hurry, Shuuhei," Kana said as they drove to the hospital. It was late at night, and there weren't many cars on the road. He made it to the hospital in record time.

...

The doctors and nurses called out orders, but Shuuhei didn't pay any attention to them. He was focused on Kana.

"They're going to do a C-section," he told her.

"Is there something wrong with the baby?"

"No. She's fine. Your contractions are coming too fast, and they said something about you not being dilated enough." His focus was on Kana. He couldn't do anything about their daughter until she was born.

She came out screaming. Kana smiled as a nurse laid the baby on her chest. "It helps regulate her temperature better," the nurse explained. After a minute, the nurse took the baby away to clean her off.

"She's beautiful, Shuuhei."

"She already takes after her mother." He grinned at Kana and leaned down to kiss her lightly.

"Mr. Hisagi, please come with me," one of the nurses said as she guided him out of the room.

"My daughter?"

"She's fine. We'll bring her to you shortly."

He knew by her tone that something was wrong. "What's wrong with Kana?"

"Mr. Hisagi, please. Someone will bring your daughter out shortly."

"What's wrong with my wife?" He grabbed the nurse's arm.

"She'll be fine but we need to operate on her."

"Operate? Why? What happened?"

The nurse looked up at him. "She'll be fine," she repeated before she turned and walked back into the operating room where Kana was.

...

He sat on the edge of her bed, holding her hand. Next to her bed, their daughter slept in a bassinette. Despite the joy he had felt earlier in the day, his heart felt heavy. He couldn't bring himself to call anyone to tell them that Kana had the baby. After they had ushered him out of the room, it had been hours before a doctor had come out to talk to him. He'd passed the time with his daughter once they had brought her out to him. He sang every one of Rolling Star's songs to her.

Kana opened her eyes and looked up at him. He looked sad. "Shuuhei."

He smiled and looked down at her. The smile didn't reach his eyes. "Kana."

"They wouldn't let me hold her. Is everything ok with her?"

"She's perfect Kana. They said it was good that you had a C-section since she was so long. It explains why she was kicking so much last night. She didn't have much room." He glanced over at the bassinette. "Do you want to hold her now?"

"Yes." He stood up and handed Kana the baby. "She is beautiful. She'll be tall like you. She has your hair." Kana looked up at Shuuhei. "What happened after she was born?"

Shuuhei sighed and sat on the edge of the bed. "I don't know all the details. I was too concerned about whether or not you'd be ok. There were some complications, and they operated." He sighed. "Kana, she'll be the only child we'll be able to have. You can't have any more children."

Kana looked down at their daughter. "She's enough, Shuuhei."

He leaned over and kissed her forehead. "I'm sorry, Kana."

"It's ok, Shuuhei. It'll just be the three of us."

"You, me, and Seina." Shuuhei took out his phone and took a picture of his daughter. "I haven't called anyone to tell them you had the baby."

"Text them. Everyone except my Mom. You have to call her."

Shuuhei grinned and began his text message. He attached the photo he had just taken. The message read "Kana and I are happy to announce the arrival of our daughter, Seina. Come meet our little star." He listed the hospital and their room number.

Shuuhei called his mother-in-law.

"What's wrong with Kana?" she asked.

"Nothing. Her hands are full right now. She won't share." Shuuhei grinned at Kana. "She had the baby a few hours ago."

"Why didn't you call me sooner?"

"This is the first free moment we've had." He gave her the hospital name and their room number and knew she'd be there soon.

"Did you want to hold her?" Kana asked.

"I held her while they were... While you were..."

"You wanted more, didn't you?"

"I wasn't ready to take away that option. I had no choice in it. Neither did you."

There was a knock on the door. "Mrs. Hisagi, these came for you."

Kana looked at the vase of flowers. The nurse sat them down on a table next to the bed and then walked out of the room.

"That was fast," Kana said. Shuuhei handed her the card that was tucked in them. "They're from," she smiled and looked at Shuuhei. "Seina and Shuuhei. Thank you."

"You gave me a daughter. The least I could do was give you flowers."

...

He'd waited until Emi had arrived before he left his wife and daughter. He'd promised Kana he'd pick up some clothes for her and Seina. Shuuhei parked his car and headed toward the apartment building.

"I didn't want her to find me," someone said as they punched him.

Shuuhei knew that voice. His mood was raw enough that he punched back. "You left her, Renji."

"So did you."

"I had reason to. She was having sex with you. What was your reason?"

"You broke her heart. It was all about you. She didn't want me anymore."

Shuuhei sighed and wiped blood off his lip. "I'm sorry."

Renji shrugged. "I only wanted her because you had her. I didn't mean to have sex with her. It just happened." Shuuhei shrugged. As he saw it now, it led him to Kana. Renji spoke again. "I'm with this new girl now. I think I love her. Then Ran shows up and tells me I have a kid." Renji sighed and rubbed his jaw. "Where did you learn to punch like that?"

Shuuhei grinned. "This has been the best and worst day of my life." He opened the door. "Come inside, Renji. How did you know where I lived?" Shuuhei asked as they got on the elevator.

"Kira told me."

Shuuhei nodded. Kira and Renji had been in the same class, a couple of years behind Shuuhei. Renji followed Shuuhei into his apartment.

"So what happened to you today?" he asked, watching his friend.

"My wife had our baby today."

"That was the good part, right?"

"Yeah. That was the good part." Shuuhei sighed. "The worst part was the doctors telling me that we'd never have another child."

"That's a bummer. Did you want more kids?"

Shuuhei shrugged. "I don't know. I can be happy with just Seina but..."

"Hisagi, you have a beautiful wife, and what I'm assuming is a beautiful daughter. How greedy can you be?"

Shuuhei grinned. "I guess you're right."

Renji looked around the apartment when Shuuhei ducked into a room. "What are you doing here if your wife just had a baby?"

"We weren't ready for her. Kana asked me to come back and pack some things for her and Seina."

Renji saw a photo of Kana and Shuuhei on the table. The photo focused more on the woman's round belly. Shuuhei's hands covered Kana's hands on either side of the mound. His head rested on her shoulder, and her head was bent down against his shoulder. "You're really lucky, Hisagi."

"She's the best thing that's ever happened to me."

"Ran hated that you wanted to spend time playing your guitar and not with her."

"Really? She never told me that. I mean, she always interrupted me but I didn't think it was because she hated my playing."

Renji shrugged as Shuuhei walked from his and Kana's room to Seina's nursery.

"I like the album. It's really great."

"Thanks Renji." Shuuhei walked back out to the living room. "I think that's everything. Comewith me. I'll introduce you to Kana and our daughter."

...

Kana looked at the door as it opened. She smiled and whispered at Seina. "Daddy's back." She saw the other man come in behind him. "And he brought a friend." Kana glanced over at Yumi and Ikkaku. They walked over to talk to the man. Shuuhei walked over to Kana. Seeing her with their daughter filled him with love.

Leaning over to kiss Kana, he whispered, "I love you."

"I love you. What did you do?" she asked as she touched his lip.

"I ran into something."

"Something or someone?"

"Both. Where's your Mom?"

"She had an appointment. She didn't want to leave, and she'd made the appointment thinking Seina wouldn't be born yet." Kana smiled down at their daughter. "She'll be back when she's done. Who's your friend?"

"Renji."

"Really? I didn't think you'd ever speak to him again."

Shuuhei shrugged. "If all that hadn't happened, I wouldn't be where I am right now." He caught Renji's eye and the man walked over to them. "Renji, this is Kana."

"It's a pleasure. Your album is great."

"Thank you, Renji."

"I told you that you were a lucky man, Hisagi. Beautiful wife, beautiful daughter."

Shuuhei looked at Kana and grinned. Renji was right. He was lucky. Kana noticed the sadness was gone from his eyes, and she silently thanked Renji for that.


	15. Epilogue

He saw her the minute she walked through the school gate. She was tall and slim with shoulder length black hair and violet eyes. Something silver winked at her wrist. He wondered what class she would be in as he saw a teacher hurry over to her and lead her away.

Ren made his way to his class and took his usual seat in the back. He sat at the window, and no one had the desk next to him. He preferred it that way.

He was staring out the window thinking about the plans he had for that night when the teacher called his name, pulling him out of his thoughts.

"Ren!"

"Here," he muttered glancing up.

"We've already taken attendance." The class laughed. "As class representative, I need you to show Seina around. She's new to our class and our school."

He looked at the girl; the same one he'd seen that morning. Ren wasn't sure he could form words properly so he nodded in agreement. The teacher muttered something to Seina and pointed toward the empty desk next to Ren. Seina walked back to it and placed her things on the desk.

"Thank you," she whispered to Ren.

He looked at her and saw there were flecks of grey in her violet eyes. She tucked a stray hair behind her ear, and Ren saw the silver around her wrist was a bracelet with stars hanging from it. She was beautiful. Not that he was interested.

Seina was trying to pay attention to her teacher, but she could feel Ren staring at her. He had pale ice blue eyes and dark brown hair. She wondered if he would be taller than her. Not many of the boys she knew were. He was cute. Not that she was interested.

When they had a break, Ren asked her, "What school were you at before this one?"

She smiled. "I had a private tutor."

"Oh. What made you decide to come here?"

She shrugged. "My parents thought it would be a good idea for me to be around people my own age. I've spent most of my life traveling with them."

"Traveling? For like their business?"

She thought a moment. "I guess you could say Rolling Star is their business," she muttered.

Ren looked at her in awe. "Rolling Star? The band?"

She laughed. "Yes."

"You're Kana and Shuuhei's daughter?"

Her finger trailed over the three stars on her bracelet. "Yes."

"Oh man. I'm going to their concert tonight. It's supposed to be great."

"It will be," she said with certainty.

"Rolling Star is my favorite band. Are you going to be there?"

"I'll be backstage as usual."

"I was trying to get backstage passes. They sold out before I saved up enough money with my job."

"You work?"

"A little. I help out occasionally at the store my uncle owns. I don't get a lot of hours though."

"That's too bad."

Ren shrugged. He was about to say something else when the teacher called the class to order.

...

"No texting while in school. We talked about this," Shuuhei reminded her when he came to pick her up.

"I know, but it was important," Seina pouted as she took the envelope from her father. "I'll be right back."

Shuuhei watched her walk over to a boy just a little taller than her and hand him the envelope. The boy's eyes went wide as he looked at Seina, the envelope and then at Shuuhei. Seina said something to him and then walked back to her father's car.

"Why do I get the feeling you just made his day?"

She smiled. "I did. Ren wasn't able to save up for the passes before they were sold out."

"So I'll get to meet him tonight."

"No. Rolling Star's guitarist meets him tonight."

"It's good that you made a friend here."

"It's different being with people my age. All the girls do is talk about the cute boys in our class."

"Ren being one of them?"

"He was mentioned by a couple girls."

"No dating while in you're in school."

Seina laughed. "I'm not going to date him. Ren is just a friend."

"Right."

"He's the class representative. He showed me around the school."

"You forget that I went to a high school like this. I know how these things work."

"Maybe things have changed since you were in high school."

Shuuhei shot his daughter a look. "I doubt it." He pulled into the arena parking lot and got out of the car with Seina behind him.

"Dad, I think this was a good decision. I think I'm going to really like going to school."

"That's good." He wrapped his arm around her. "Let's go tell your mom that you've invited a boy to meet you backstage."

Seina laughed and walked with her father into the arena.

...

"Him," Shuuhei whispered to his wife. Kana looked at the boy he indicated.

"He's kind of cute."

"Kana," Shuuhei began.

"She's going to date eventually. You can't stop her forever."

"She said they were just friends."

"They've only known each other a day. We knew each other almost a year before we started dating."

"That was different. We were older than Seina is now."

Kana shook her head at him and greeted the boy that approached them. "Thank you for coming to the show. Shuuhei said you're Seina's friend."

Ren stared at Kana. "You're pretty."

She smiled at him. "Thank you."

"I have all your albums. I think Rolling Star is awesome."

"Thank you," she repeated, holding out her hand for the poster he was holding. Ren handed it to her and watched while Kana and Shuuhei signed the poster.

"I never thought I'd have a chance to meet you." Ren turned to Shuuhei. "Thank you, sir."

"You're welcome."

Ren turned and saw Seina. Instead of her school uniform, she wore jeans and a Rolling Star t-shirt. "Oh. Seina. I wasn't sure I'd be able to see you before I left. I have to catch the bus." He looked at his watch. "I don't think I have much time."

She glanced at her parents who gave her a slight nod. "We can arrange for transportation home. It's no big deal."

"Oh. Well... I..."

"Come on. I'll show you what I do during a concert." She took his hand and dragged him off.

Yumi and Ikkaku walked over to Shuuhei and Kana.

"Is that the kid she met at school?" Ikkaku asked. Shuuhei nodded.

"Did you see the way he looked at her?" Kana asked Shuuhei. "He likes her."

"She's not allowed to date while she's in school."

"Weren't you her age when you had your first date, Shuuhei?" Yumi asked.

"That's not the point."

Kana laughed. "Relax, Shuuhei. She told me she wasn't interested in him or any other boy in her class."

Shuuhei sighed. He didn't relax though. He remembered not being interested in Kana when he first met her. Here they were seventeen years later married and watching their daughter grow up.


End file.
